I Wish... (A JB fanfic)

Chapter 26

Chapter song: Not About Angels by Birdy
(Becca's pov)
It's New Year's Eve. Justin leaves tomorrow evening. I'm such a mess inside even though Justin said we'll be fine. How can I be fine when he's gonna be gone for almost 2 years? I can't do this.
"Are you hungry, bae?"
Justin and I were hanging out at the park.
"No"
I haven't had much of an appetite lately.
"Becca, you haven't eaten since yesterday. C'mon, you want Chick-Fil-A?"
He pulled me closer.
"I'm fine"
I muttered.
"No, you're not. It's New Year's Eve. Let's make the last day special"
He took my hand and pulled me with him.
"Where are we going?"
I tried to keep up with him.
"It's a surprise"
He smirked at me.
"Ugh, ok"
I rolled my eyes. I hate surprises. We arrived at a train station.
"Why are we here?"
I asked him as he bought tickets.
"It's better than you think"
Justin remarked and handed me my ticket. I just went along with it. We sat down in the back. Justin allowed me to sit by the window. There was nobody here except us. Well, it is New Year's Eve.
"Where are we going?"
I looked at Justin.
"Just to the next city then back"
He put his arm around as the train started moving. It was a quiet, calm, cloudy day. There was light specks of snow fluttering in the air. I could feel the coldness from the window. The only sound heard was the sound of the train moving. I pressed myself close to Justin.
"I like this"
I mumbled softly against his shirt.
"Told you"
He smiled in a whisper. The warmth of his body and embrace made me shiver.
"...I'm sorry"
I whispered.
"Why?"
His voice grew out of a whisper.
"cos I'm really gonna miss you"
I was sorry, because he told me not to think about it.
"Aw, don't be sorry for that, babydoll"
He smiled, but his voice was gloomy.
"What do I do while you're gone?"
I whispered quieter to keep my voice from tearing.
"...Stay safe. Be patient. Don't stress yourself. I'll contact you. We'll make it work"
He spoke gentle and quiet. I knew it would become a lie. Long distance relationships don't last. At least for me, they don't. I can't even last a day without Justin.
"...Ok"
Was all I could say. I doubted him so bad, but I kept my mouth silent.
"I love you so much, Becca"
He spoke so painfully that I could feel him slightly whimper.
"I love you too"
I felt my throat tighten and my chest grow heavy.
"You're mine. Nobody else's. Ok?"
Justin's eyes were sorrowful.
"Yes"
I pressed my cheek against his chest, close enough to feel and hear his heart beating. A single tear trailed down my cheek.
"No tears. We'll be ok, darling"
His thumb brushed the tear away. I began to cry quietly in his shirt. He held me closer and caressed me gentle and comfortingly. I remained in the dark and warmth of his shirt until I was sure I was out of tears. I felt something wet land on my arm. When I looked up, I realized that it came from Justin. My heart ached, and I kissed him deeply, hovering over him and holding his face with care. He kissed back and wrapped him arms around me. We felt the train stop then broke the kiss.
"Follow me"
He took my hand and pulled me out of the train and into a snowy city. I've never been here yet did I know what it was called. All I know is that Justin was with me. We entered a coffee shop. A cozy feeling warmed me up. The smell of coffee and cinnamon was obviously noticed. Justin ordered me a hot chocolate and a slice of banana bread and bought something for himself too. We sat by a comforting fire and enjoyed our drinks.
"This is nice"
I smiled thankfully.
"I would crash here if I could"
Justin grinned.
"Me too"
I agreed with him. We finished our drinks and snacks, talking about New Year's Eve, then we boarded the train again. It was still empty, but I like it like that. I sat back next to Justin, who was embracing me again. I leaned myself against his warm body and felt my eyelids grow heavy.
"Close your eyes, babygirl"
Justin whispered, and I fell asleep in the safety of his arms.
. . .
"Becca, we're here, bae"
Justin's soothing voice woke me up.
"Mm-I don't want to..wake...up"
I shut my eyes.
"C'mon, baby, we need to get back to your house"
He rubbed my back.
"Ok"
I sighed tiredly and stood up, leaning against Justin. Luckily, my dad was cruel enough to spend the holidays with his side of the family in Michigan instead of with us. My mom wasn't happy about it, but she soon got over it.
"I'll see you in a few minutes"
Justin pecked my cheek and headed to his house after dropping me off at mine. I turned on the tv to the count down to New Years abs helped decorate. It was 10pm when I heard a knock on the door. I hurried to open it.
"Becca, it's nice to see you"
Pattie greeted. Justin walked in and hugged me, kissing my temple.
"Let's go upstairs"
He whispered once our moms started chatting. We rushed upstairs and shut ourselves in my room.
"Damn, what a year"
Justin plopped on my bed.
"I know"
I laid beside him. There was a long silence. We were both in our thoughts and minds.
. . .
I'm not sure how long me laid together. I didn't care. I was with Justin.
"Becca, Justin, c'mon!"
We heard our moms call. I checked the time, 11:55pm. Justin and I went back downstairs and watched the countdown. 5 minutes soon became 1, and 1 minute turned into 30 seconds then to 10.
"5-4-3-2-1. Happy New Years!"
We all cheered, then Justin kissed me passionately. We kissed until our moms awed us. My cheeks heated up, so Justin took me in his arms. I felt like this was the closest I'd ever get to Justin until tomorrow.