I Wish... (A JB fanfic)

Chapter 10

Chapter song: Never Let You Go by Justin Bieber
(Justin's pov)
Cure For Anxiety. I pulled the book out and flipped through it. Why does she have this book? Does she have anxiety? I thought for a second. She's never given me any signs that she has anxiety. She does worry a lot. I remember last year she got really stressed out from school and threw her books at the wall. But she's never seemed bad or anything. I need a sign that she has it. I looked through the rest of her books and found something that might help. Her diary. No. I would be a terrible boyfriend if I looked through her diary without permission. But what if it's related to her health? What if something bad happened to her, and nobody knows what caused it? Ok, I'll do it real quick before she comes back. I flipped open the first page and read.
"May 5, 2005.
I think I have a really huge crush on Justin. I mean, how can I not? I don't think he feels the same though. We're only 11 years old, and I can't expect a lot from him..."
I quit reading. Woah. All this time, all these years, she's liked me back? I've liked her since I was 13, that's only 2 years after. I turned the page. 2005. 2006. 2007.
"January 18, 2007.
I just found out I have anxiety. I don't know what happened. I was stressed out with school, and I couldn't breathe right. Good thing I put myself back together before anyone noticed. My parents are too busy to take care of me, and they're overprotective, so I bought a book. It sorta helps me deal with it. Sometimes, I can't deal. I wanna runaway, so I did..."
I stopped reading. So she does have anxiety. Damn. How come she never told me? I could've been there for her. And the running away part, I knew about that. Becca tends to runaway from her troubles a lot. She'll runaway from home, and we'll either have to find her or she'll come back. One time in 6th grade, she ran away, and her mom asked me if I'd seen her. We looked for her everywhere, but couldn't find her. Finally, I found her sitting at the riverbank in the woods, where we always go during summer. I remember every detail. She was crying and shaking softly. I ended up carrying her home that day. Becca hasn't ran away in a while. If she does, I'll know what caused it. I quickly put the diary back then sat on the floor. I don't know what to say or do. Becca has anxiety. How bad is it? I don't think it's really bad, because she isn't stressed out or worried about anything. Would me leaving for a few days make her worry? I hope not. Ugh, what am I gonna d-
"Justin, c'mon"
Becca opened the door and extended her hand to help me up.
"Thanks"
I was now watching every sign of her.
"I brought you some leftovers"
She handed me a small plate of spaghetti.
"Thanks...again"
I smiled at her and ate what I could. She seems fine right now.
"Uhm, Becca?"
Should I ask her about it?
"Yea"
She pulled me on her bed with her.
"....Truth or dare?"
I need to find a way to do this.
"Truth"
She gave me a smile.
"Are you worried about anything?"
I looked for a hint of dishonesty in her eyes.
"Yea"
She nodded.
"What?"
We were about 8 inches apart.
"Play by the rules, Justin. It's my turn now, Truth or dare?"
Becca grinned.
"Dare"
I chose.
"I dare you to tell me why you asked that question"
She looked back in my eyes with intensity.
"Cos I wanna know how you feel..."
I gave little detail.
"...Truth or dare"
I asked.
"Truth"
She had something her eyes that told me to just ask the question already.
"What are you worried about?"
But I couldn't ask it. It's too soon. Maybe next time around.
"You..."
She replied.
"...Truth or dare"
She had a short answer that made me think deeper on how this related to her anxiety.
"Truth"
I chose.
"Why are you so concerned about my worries?"
She had curiosity yet a small speck of fear in her eyes.
"Cos I'm trying to figure out something..."
By now, we were only 5 inches apart.
"...Truth or dare"
I'm gonna ask her this time.
"...Truth"
She must really wanna know why I'm asking her these questions.
"Becca...do you have anxiety?"
I swallowed hard, and I was nervous that she'd get mad at me.
"....How did you know that?"
Becca asked instead of answering the question.
"Yes or no"
Was all I said.
"...Yes. Justin, why the hell does it matter?"
She stood up.
"Becca, I care about you. Now please tell me about it"
I stood up with her.
"...I was 13. I was stressed, and my parents were constantly on my back, and you weren't talking to me and-"
"Becca, stop"
I hugged her tightly, because she was about to cry, and I didn't need her anxiety acting up right now.
"I'm sorry, Justin"
She cried silently in my shoulder.
"For what?"
My hands rubbed her back comfortingly.
"For not telling you"
She cried. I hated to see her cry. It's the most painful sound, sight, and feeling in the world. When Becca cries, she shakes and whimpers, and she holds me so tight that I have hand marks on my arms. Luckily, I know how to calm her down.
"It's like an angel came by and took me too heaven. Cos when I stare in your eyes, it couldn't be better. I don't want you to go oh no. Let the music blast. We gonna do our dance. Bring the doubters on. They don't matter at all
'cause this life's too long, And this love's too strong, So baby know for sure. That I'll never let you go..."
I sang softly in her ear, making her calm down and lower down to sniffles.
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You're overthinking, babe. Don't do that"
I dried her eyes. She nodded, then I kissed her lovingly.
"Tomorrow, we'll spend the whole day together"
I caressed her cheek as she nodded.
"Are you tired?"
I tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Mhm...You can sleep on my bed"
She insisted.
"No, I'll sleep on the floor"
I wasn't gonna let her sleep on the floor.
"Justin-"
"It's fine, shawty. I don't care"
I grabbed a few pillows and blankets from her closet then laid on the floor.
"Sleep with me, Justy"
She mumbled cutely.
"Aww....ok, baby"
I slipped next to her in bed.
"Thank you"
She snuggled close to me, and I held her closer.
"No problem"
I kissed her head. This has to be the 2nd best feeling in the world. The girl of your dreams, in your arms. This is all I could ever want.
-9am-
I woke up to someone knocking.
"Becca, breakfast is ready"
Her mom said. I quickly rolled off the bed and crawled underneath it.
"Becca, wake up, sweetie"
The door opened.
"Ok, I heard you"
Becca groaned. When the door shut, I crawled back out.
"Are you ok, Justin?"
She got off the bed.
"Yea, I'm fine"
I stood up.
"I gotta go, Justin. I'll bring you something to eat"
She mumbled tiredly as she walked out, shutting the door. I hid back in her closet, just in case her dad walks in. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about her anxiety. Becca said she had it when she was 13, so maybe that means she doesn't have it anymore. I sat there, thinking about life. I spotted a box of pictures then pulled it out. The first picture I grabbed was one with Becca and me hugging. It was from Chaz's 7th birthday party. I grabbed another one with me kissing Becca's cheek. We were 10 and celebrating Thanksgiving together. Man, those we the days. Back then, her dad didn't mind me. Now, he fucking wants to kill me. I'm sorry to say this, but what about Ryan and Chaz? Doesn't he hate them too? I get that he's overprotective, but I've protected Becca for most of her life. I've been there for her. How does her dad hate me?
"Justin, I brought you your favorite cereal"
Becca opened the door and handed me a box of cap'n crunch.
"Thanks"
I took it and started eating.
"So what are we gonna do today?"
She brushed her hair.
"The park, window shopping, bookstore"
I listed some things we could do.
"Let's do everything"
She giggled.
"Alright"
I put on my SnapBack, shirt, and hoodie again.
"I have to tell my parents first"
She sounded annoyed.
"I'll meet you outside, bae"
I started making my way out of her room.
"Ok"
Becca hid any evidence of me in her room.
(Becca's pov)
Once there was no sign that Justin's been in my room, I walked downstairs.
"I'm going for a walk"
I muttered loud enough for them to hear.
"Becca, please don't go alone. You know how we hate that"
Mom said in a desperate tone. My dad was just looking at me suspiciously.
"Well, maybe if you never banned me from Justin, I wouldn't be alone"
I glared at both of them.
"Becca"
But I already shut the door on them. It's their fault, so I don't care if I hurt their feelings.