Once A Daydream

25 - Family

Katelyn.

"Gusto ba ng baby 'to...Ayieee!" Kanina ko pa kinakausap si Kath habang naglalakad kami rito sa supermarket. Matapos ang nangyari sa amin, we spent the day together with kath kagabi. Everyday is a best day for me with them.

Nahirapan nga ako dahil nahihiya akong tumabi sakaniya matulog, tapos gusto niya pa sana sabay kami maligo pero hindi na ako pumayag! Haynako, this is making me crazy!

Gusto rin muli mag grocery ni Lucas. Sabi ko nga kumpleto naman ang mga kailangan sa bahay, dahil araw-araw ko iyon nache-check. Hindi nya pinansin ang sinabi ko, at nagpumilit pa rin siya pumunta. Hay. We can just spend the day together at home. The three of us.

Naging maayos na ang takbo ng mga sumunod kong araw dahil Lucas made sure na I will not be bothered by anyone except for my family, and other close friends. My friends were also emotional for me, actually all of them. Miss Jen visited me as well, and was very happy for me, and said sorry about what happened between us and Yuan. I am happy all that I see is all working.

Humahagikhik ang cute na anak ko habang hawak ang matigas na noodles na pinaglalaruan niya. Nakapatong siya sa cart. Tumigil si Lucas, at tinignan kami. "Why?" Ako na ang nagtanong. Umiling lang ito at ngumiti. Huh? Confused akong sumunod sakaniya. Tuloy tuloy lamang ang paglalaro ni kath sa hawak kaya hindi naging mahirap na mawala sandali ang atensyon ko sakaniya.

"Ano ba ang bibilihin natin, Love?" Lumingon siya sa akin, "Whatever my babies want." Uminit naman ang pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. Natawa rin sandali ang lalaking nag-aayos ng mga products, ang staff. Napayuko nalang ako, at dumiretso sa banda niya.

"Shhh! Naku nakahihiya!" Hinatak ko siya, at mabilis lang din naman siyang sumunod at tinulak ang cart.

Natawa lang ito sa ginawa ko. "Si kath...kunin nalang natin itong pasta na kinuha niya... Ikaw ba wala kang bibilihin?"

Nakatigil lang kami sa isang parte ng supermarket dahil nag-iisip pa siya kung anong bibilhin. Umiling lang siya. "Bakit pumunta pa tayo rito?" Nalilito kong tanong, at napatingin tingin sa paligid. Mamaya may makahalata na mukhang nagtatago kami?

"I just want to spend this day with you." Umamba siyang yayakap, at nagpayapos naman ako. Ghad!

"Eh bakit hindi nalang sa bahay?" Inangat ko ang tingin sakaniya.

He kissed me on my lips, that was only a peck but nanghina ang tuhod ko. I reached for his lips again. Halos naghahalikan na kami kung hindi ko lang narinig na sumisigaw sigaw si Kath! Gosh, we are making a scene here!

Matapos kami sa supermarket, pumunta kami ng toys store, kaya naman itong anak ko nakatulog sa pagod. "I'll just go to the rest room." Paalam sa akin ni Lucas ng makarating kami sa banyo sa mall.

"Kaya mo ba?" Pertaining to kath. Tumango ako, and before I left he kissed me again on my forehead. He is really sweet, and I just poked my nose against his nose. We both laughed.

He gently let go of my hand. "Dito lang ako." I smiled at him, at Tumango.

I looked at the face of my daughter, we really look like each other. She was actually a little heavy because she is a chubby baby girl. I am fixing her cap while I was doing that she made a sound. Nagising ko ata, naku! I just giggled, and tapped her back.

Itong pinuntahan namin ni Lucas, ay aware ang mga tao na hindi siya pwedeng lapitan ng sino. I kind of struggle with that kasi nga I never liked attention. Mabuti na nga lang I was a fan, and naalala ko na gustong gusto niya talaga itong trabaho na ito.

Hindi ko nga rin alam paano niya sasabihin sa mga tao na I am his wife. No one knew him as a husband, he was known as a single father while she strive to be a famous chef.

I saw him go out from the comfort room, and wave. Oh, I am proud of you my Love...

Mabilis lang ang naging byahe namin dahil hindi masyadong malayo ang supermarket sa bahay namin. Yes, it is ours. Mine, and his. I never thought that I can still regain my memories back, and with a more happiness than before. "Thank you..." Bulong ko sakaniya.

"For what?"

Umangat ako ng tingin, "I am just grateful to what's happening. Kahit pa'y ang daming drama ng buhay ko..."

"Don't say that...Your life is always worth it..." Hindi ko alam dahil nag teary eyed na naman ako sa sinabi niya.

I have learned so much from again here in my second chance of life. Kitang kita ko kung gaano siya kabuting tao, anak, apo, tatay, at partner sa akin. Magaling siya sa kaniyang trabaho. Sinabi niya sa akin sa tamang timing ipapakita niya ang kaniyang restaurant sa akin ulit. I am looking forward to that too! I have never seen his other collegues.

"How's your shower?" Bungad na tanong sa akin ni Lucas nang makapasok ako sa kwarto after ko mag freshen up. Napangiti ako lalo nang makita ko siyang karga ang anak ko.

Lumapit ako sakanila, "Hi baby girl...miss mo ba ako..." Sabi ko habang kinukuha siya sa kanyang ama. "Ang cute cute talaga niyang baby na 'yan oh..." I always play my words pagdating sa mga babies, or batang inaalagaan ko. Totoo rin naman kasi na cute talaga sila.

Nagpipigil naman 'to ng tawa...haynako. Lagi siyang ganiyan kaya hinayaan ko na. Hinarap ko si Kath at nanood muli siya sa tv, at pinaglaruan ang kamay ko.

"Feels nice, and nakausap ko pala sila Mama, nangangamusta lang." I am happy that even though that my real parents are not around, Kath has lola, and lolo figure on my side. He held my face, and smiled at me.

Nabisita ko na rin ang mga libingan ng magulang ko nung nakaraang araw, nalaman ko na kaya pala si Lucas hindi nanghingi ng tulong sa mga kamag anak ko kasi nga magulo pa rin sa amin. Wala namang pakialam ang mga tao na iyon sa kondisyon ko kahit na dati pa. Puro agawan pa ng lupa. At first, I was sad, but I did not expect anything good from them. I won't let them ruin my life.

We are both staring at each other, and I know he's gonna kiss me that's why I closed my eyes. Nagulat kaming dalawa dahil umiyak si Kath...agad akong nataranta, at kinarga siya. Oh my!

Inalo ko si kath..."Shhh..." Mabilis din namang tumayo ang asawa ko, "Kukuha ako ng gatas."

Mukhang inaantok na si Kath, at napansin kong tapos na ang pinanonood niya kaya siguro siya umiyak. I swayed her from left to right, at napapansin ko ang pagkalma nito. Sumilip ako kay kath, at hinaplos ang small hairs niya.

Walang kumikibo sa amin hanggang nakatulog si Kath. Lucas is just always staring at me, "I'll carry her to her crib..." And he just said thank you to me, while I nodded at that remark.

When I put kath in her crib he was hugging me from behind. Lucas and I were inseparable after my confinement in the hospital. He does not let me go out alone. He softly started kissing my neck. His hands started to roam around my body...

"I love you so much..." It was a whisper, but it was the loudest, and clear message from him. I smiled, while feeling the mood of this scene. I am recalling each memory of us in the back of my mind, and my tears are starting to fall. I am always crying everyday because of how thankful I am to him, and how we both struggled to be together again.

Inikot niya ako paharap, at pinunasan ang luha ko using his thumb. I held his hand to keep it on front of my face. I forgave myself from what I did, hindi ko masisisi ang sarili ko because I am depressed. People who face a lot of mental health issues cannot change overnight, or you can never expect them to change.

You can help them, but you cannot force them. I understand that normal people like Lucas can sometimes push us to be better. They can, but it doesn't mean we should. We grow in our own pace, at the end of the day no matter how large our support system it will really depend on how can make choices.

I don't promise myself to be a hundred percent better, but I will try everyday. Having these kind of support is like a luxury to me, especially people like me that has issues in our minds. The best healing I can get is acceptance from the people I love, and I think I should, and everyone should be kind so the world can be a better place for people like me who struggles with different traumas that we did not choose to go through.

I hugged Lucas, and I want to thank God for allowing him to be back again in my life.