Rewind

XXVI: Expert

     “Oh you’re back,” Sam says when I tap her shoulder. I find her dancing with Dana, totally fine, as if she hasn’t minded our absence at all.

Zeke is behind me and I notice Sam watches us both. At Zeke then at me then back at Zeke. She has this cheeky smile on her lips and for some reason that makes me feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah,” I reply. “I think it’s time for me to go home. Don’t parents have superpowers to detect when you’re not home?” I question and Sam thinks about it.

“I think they do. You’re right, it’s better to go now than to risk your life. Let’s go,” then she turns to face Dana. “I’ll see you in college, Dana.”

“Bye!” I wave at the girl and she smiles at us all.

“Be careful,” is the last thing Dana says before Zeke, Sam and I leave the party.

It is so crowded that no one minds us leaving so soon, although some do notice Zeke leaving. Out of the three, he’s the only one that catches people’s attention. Sam and I, on the other hand, go unnoticed no matter what we dressed up as. Although Zeke only gets that reaction because of his reputation, even if now the kids now he has friends and hangs out with us, it’s a fact that he’s a lone wolf. Sam and I don’t receive attention even if we are his only friends. I think the kids regard us only as shadows. Not that Sam and I mind, though.

We make it to the car and as Zeke drives back Sam helps me to remove the tattoos. She’s brought nail polish remover and with some cotton with work on getting rid of my Tris’ inking. The birds and logos are gone, now my skin is very red but that should be gone by tomorrow morning. Good thing it’s chilly and I don’t need to expose that part of my body.

By the time Zeke stops in front of my house I’m Allie again—not that I ever acted or was Tris, but I was dressed up like her—and it’s time to say goodbye. As Sam drive with me in the backseat, she gets out first and now I’m alone with Zeke inside again. He turns to look at me with a smile on his lips.

“Did you regret going?” he asks me and I shake my head.

“I had fun, even if it just briefly. I just wanted to see. Thank you for helping me, Zeke,” I tell him and he nods in acknowledgement “So, I’ll see you in college then,” I add and I’m not sure why, but I don’t really want to say goodbye or go inside home. I want to stay here, even if that seems like the most awkward option.

Why do I feel so awkward with Zeke around? Is it because of what happened when we were dancing? I wonder if this is normal. I’ve read about it in some books in which the main characters feels butterflies and all those things, but I don’t think life works like that. Those are metaphors and hyperboles the authors use to magnify and enhance the effect on the reader. I can’t use the descriptions give by the characters to measure and understand my own reactions; that would be too silly. Even if books are realistic, they are fiction and will always be magnified.

“Yes. Have sweet dreams, Allie,” he confirms and I know I have to get out.

How should I say goodbye? I am too aware of him and the fact we need to part ways and I’m not sure if I should just wave or smile, but that seems cold and not enough. I feel something inside telling me that it should be something else. A hug? But it’s kind of awkward due to the fact he’s on the driver’s seat and I’m in the backseat. What else then?

I sigh and decide I should just get out, but then I remember he kissed me on the forehead. Maybe I should do the same, but that would look kind of weird, wouldn’t it? Then the cheek it is.

I look at him and feel so uneasy and nervous, like I can’t move but then I take a deep breath and lean forward. His eyes widen at my actions but he doesn’t move, so I can kiss his cheek easily and quickly. “Goodnight, Zeke,” I say and sprint out of the car. I feel my cheeks burning and like my throat closes up.