Rewind

XX: Family

   I text Zeke when the class is over, just to make sure it is okay to go see him today and his reply is many shocked emoji before it reads: 

Let me clean first or you'll never talk to me again —Zeke

I chuckle at the words and for some reason I imagine him with an apron, cleaning the house in frenzy and I laugh out loud as I text my reply and ask him to give me his address unless he wants me to knock at some random door. Once I receive it, I'm already on my way to the bus stop, waiting patiently. I don't know if he actually gets time to clean the house because we are texting the whole time. We don't talk about anything important, just joking around. Maybe he just said that and his house doesn't really need cleaning. It was a funnier way to say it was okay for me to go visit him.

As I get closer I start to feel nervous, I don't really know why. It's something friends do, right? Visiting each other. Although I haven't done this with Sam, but I do know her mum. Talking about Sam, she should've come with me today. She's also his friend, they get on really well. But she said she had to go and it was better if I went alone. I wonder why…

I don't realise I've arrived until I'm looking for the number of his house and eventually find it. My chest feels weird, like I've just run a marathon when I'm just about to knock at his door. Maybe I'm intruding or maybe I should've brought something with me, like a homemade pie. Isn't that the norm? Or is that only for neighbours.

I have to stop thinking of that because it's too late, Zeke is already at the door with a kind smile playing on his lips. I smile back, my heart racing in my chest. Or at least that's what I think this reaction is. It's not like I have experience in these things, I've only read about them. An increase in the cardiac rhythm can be due to strong emotions like happiness, fear, anticipation, excitement, and others. I think I'm nervous and anxious because coming here means knowing a bit more about Zeke, the one outside school.

"Hello," he says sounding a bit shy. "Come in. My sister is on the go 'cos she has night shift, I hope you don't mind," he adds stepping aside so I can walk in. His house is very modest and kind of small. I guess it's okay for a family of four, unless he has another sibling.

"You only have a sister?" I ask following him to the living room.

"Yeah, it's only the two of us," he replies motioning for me to sit. "Want something? Water? Tea?" he offers politely.

"Tea is fine. I can go with you to the kitchen," I propose and he nods so I follow him to the small kitchen. "What does your sister do?" I ask whilst he puts water in the electric kettle and takes out two mugs.

"She's a nurse and she works a lot, usually extra shifts so she's barely at home," he explains. "Beth is now taking a shower, she'll be here in no time."

"What about your parents?" I ask and he stops for a second before turning to look at me with a sad smile.

"Car accident," he explains and I freeze, my eyes wide open in shock and remorse. I shouldn't have asked that. "I was seven and Beth seventeen so she wasn't legally an adult to take care of me. I got in the system until she turned eighteen and could legally be my guardian."

He tells that so casually and I can't stop blinking, I can't do anything else. Even if it was ten years ago, it surely still hurts. I've read the loss of the parents is one of the biggest losses in our lives and one of the hardest to overcome. And if he was so young when they died, it must even harder for him.

"I'm so sorry," I mumble and he smiles shaking his head.

"It's okay, it was long ago and I'm grateful I have Beth. It would've been bad without her. Neither Dad nor Mum had siblings so no one else could take care of me, and my grandparents were long gone when my parents died. I mean, I miss them and it was really hard back then, but we are doing fine now. I wish Beth didn't have to work that hard, but I can't convince her otherwise."