Rewind

XXXIX: Birthday

     “Happy birthday, Allie!” Sam shouts when she sees me first thing in the morning then she comes running to me like soul chased by the Devil himself.

Sam crushes me in her arms, knocking the air out of my lungs and I can’t even hug her back, I’m literally trapped in her arms. I didn’t think she was this strong and I’m quite surprised now.

“Air, I need air,” I cry and only then she looses her grip around me, enough to let me hug her and take a deep breath. “Thank you, Sam,” I finally reply and she pulls back to smile brightly at me.

I’m eighteen now and in all these years I never cared about my birthday. The sixth of February wasn’t anything but any other day in the calendar. I never celebrated it or even thought about it, there were years when I didn’t even remember I turned years until I made a mistake filling in some form. My parents don’t care about birthdays either, so it wasn’t a big deal with them either. No morning wishes or presents or parties. I mean, we grow older every day, and birthdays are just a point to mark the completion of a cycle but it can be any other day if I want to. I could celebrate on the date Mum got pregnant as that’s the moment my life actually began, my first cells started to form. Or from them moment my heart developed and started beating. Or the moment my brain was formed. It doesn’t have to be the moment I left my mother’s womb.

I thought like that until now. I’ve changed but no, I don’t really think birthdays are special, just social conventions used as excuse to celebrate… but I also think they are an opportunity to be grateful because, after all, I completed a cycle. I lived a whole year and if I’m lucky I might get the chance to complete another. It’s probably due to my dream and how the date of this seems to get horribly close and I start to get anxious. I’m starting to get anxious myself and I have had parts of the same dream again. Not the whole scene, just bits and pieces like being in the class or the explosion or just waking up on the twenty-third of April. So yeah, that makes me feel grateful for my birthday and this time there’s something different, as well. This time I have my two best friends excited for me, planning a whole day.

I look above Sam’s shoulder and I see Zeke coming our way, that cute and warm smile on his lips and my heart leaps. Even after all this time I still react the same way when I see him smiling like that. Sam notices that Zeke has caught up with us and releases me so now Zeke can grab my hand and pull me for a hug and make me melt in his arms.

Since that night at my house I’ve discovered a few things about my relationship with Zeke. No, we haven’t had sex but we’ve explored each other a bit and good news: I’m not asexual. Turns out I do get my hormones going crazy and clouding my mind. So I guess I’m just your ordinary teenager when it comes to that biological aspect.

“Happy birthday, love,” he whispers in my ear and I hug him tighter, burying my nose in the crook of his neck. I really love doing this.

“Thanks,” I reply pulling back just a bit to look up at him before he gives me a sweet kiss.

“I didn’t know what to give you and I thought like many, many things but it was so hard to pick so Zeke and I teamed up and have planned a whole day for you!” Sam shares in one breath and almost chokes at the end, what makes me giggle. She’s so excited. “Sooooo, I got these bad boys for us!” Sam says taking from the pocket of her coat three tickets that she hands for me as she exclaims, again, “Happy birthday, Allie!”

I take them and my eyes widen when I realise tickets for what show these are.

“Holy cow, The 1975!” I exclaim now, getting so excited. “For tonight. Blimey, I didn’t even know they were coming why didn’t you tell me, Sam?!” I cry out, looking at her with big eyes. Zeke keeps an arm around my shoulders and I feel him chuckling next to me.