Rewind

XXIII: Refusal

    

    “No,” is father round answer when I ask my parents if I can go to this Friday’s Halloween party. He doesn’t even flinch, he doesn’t even think about it, he just plainly refuses without even letting me finish.

“But Dad, I’ve never asked permission to go to a party and you can’t even complain about my behaviour. I’m doing even better at school, I’m doing charity, which will look even better when I apply to university and it’s a nice party,” I insist but their expressions don’t change.

“Allison Brown,” Mother says sternly. “What got into you? Halloween party? What nonsense is that? It’s just a silly, capitalist tradition that does not resemble in the slightest its original purpose. Costumes and treats? That is so childish and you’re too old for that,” she reasons and I sigh heavily. I won’t go asking for candy like the kids.

“It’s just a party to celebrate Halloween, it’s not bad, Mum. We’ll wear costumes just to make it more fun, but it’s just an excuse,” I try again and Father shakes his head.

“The more reason for you not to go, Allison. Excuses? You don’t do things out of excuses, you do things with a purpose. We are very happy you’re doing charity and that developing a social circle is even expanding your academic horizons, but this is foolish. And don’t try to tell us it’s a nice party because we weren’t born yesterday, Allison. We know how teenagers party these days, so don’t even try to lie to us.” I look down and sigh again. My parents might not care about normal social conventions, but that doesn’t mean they are not aware of them. They just think they are foolish. “Moreover, you haven’t gone to a party so you can’t even state that it’s a nice party.”

“But Sam’s gone and she told me it’s a really nice party, that’s why she is inviting me to this one,” I insist but they keep shaking their heads. “Mum, Dad, please. I just want to go to a party, to know how these are. I’m not asking for too much and I won’t drink or do anything illegal that others might do. I promise! You can trust me.”

“We trust you and we know you won’t do something idiotic like that,” Mum states confidently. “That’s not the problem, Allison. The issue here is that a party is something that won’t benefit you in any way, why would you insist so much on going to such an event?”

I really don’t know what else to say to convince them. Rationally speaking and to their standards it’s true that a party won’t benefit me in any way. I won’t improve my average if I attend to the party, it won’t even matter when I apply to university or any job. It’s something so irrelevant for my future that I have to accept my parents won’t allow it. I know them and I’m aware of what they approve and what not. Festivities like Halloween are just a waste of time and resources and a party on Halloween has no meaning at all from their perspective.

I have to give up on this.

The problem is that I really want to go even if I wasn’t that convinced myself at first. Sam and I kept talking about it the rest of the afternoon, planning the day and coming up with what we would wear. I decided that I wanted to go as one of my favourite characters: Tris Prior, which would be relatively easy considering I’m also blond, skinny and with flat chest, as Tris is described in the books. Sam said she would get some temporary tattoos for me, she even had the Dauntless and Abnegation tattoo symbols that came with the DVD. And as I was going to go as a book character, we decided that Sam should go as a comic character and what better than Loki? In honour of the puppy Zeke adopted, too.

By the time our classes were over we were pretty excited and I really thought my parents would allow me to go, but I forgot I was asking for something that was just for the sake of having fun. I wasn’t convinced at first, why would they agree? I shouldn’t be surprised, and I’m not, I’m just disappointed. Plus, Zeke is also going and he never goes to these parties, I convinced him and I really wanted to go with him and see him in costume.