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❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜
You and your mother were talking at the table inside the minka. You were sitting on the little cushion as she was making her way over from making tea. She had brewed tea to calm your nerves and emotions down.
"Thank you," you grab the hot cup from her hands.
She sits down on her own cushion and starts to sip the warm drink. The silence is perfect even if no one is making a noise. You're quiet since you had just had a sad visit with your mom. She was the best part of the morning though.
"So what exactly happened with you and Satoru?" she asked while rubbing the side of her porcelain cup.
You glance up with dejected eyes. She was very concerned by the looks of it. She looked the same since the last time you saw her. That was when your father died. She took care of herself without him there to help her. You had always wondered how she continued to love him without him being there.
"We're not on the best terms at the moment. I had told him that I fell in love with him and he rejected me," you explained while staring into your mom's beautiful irises.
"And what did he say when he rejected you?" she brought the cup to her lips, taking small sips of the hot beverage.
"A sister. He only looked at me in a sister way," you mumbled as you bring your eyes down to your own porcelain cup.
The design was simple. Your mother was the one who made them. That was one of her hobbies growing up so she made plates, bowls, cups, you name it. She was a master in her craft and you had asked to have things personally designed from her.
"Oh dear...You can't be telling me that–"
"Yes, I can never be close to him, talk to him, or be able to touch him," you cut her off getting irritated that she already knew your problem.
Wonderment was splayed on your mother's features. It was like she could relate, but you knew she couldn't. She had never suffered like you did. It was so annoying how she tried to make things better by trying to relate, but it usually helped.
"When your father died. A part of me went with him. I was completely blocked from doing the same thing. I couldn't ever be close to him, have the conversations I loved to have, and to long for his touch. I had to learn to let those things go," she stared at your trembling shoulders.
You were holding back tears of sadness. You wanted everything to crumble up under the rubble of rejection. You wanted everything to be over or be back to normal so you can just be close to him. You would even die if it meant you could be close to him.
"Mom, I love him so much," you snivel as the tears dropped onto the wooden table.
Your mother moved herself to sit beside you. She started to rub your back as she pulled you into her chest. You isolated your hearing into only her calming heartbeat as she began to soothe your emotions.
She was your mother. A comfort that you would grow to remember for the rest of your life. She was there for you whenever you randomly came over. She would be there even after life had ceased.
"I'm dying soon. I hope you know that," you gripped onto her clothes as your tears practically soaked them.
"I know. I will respect whatever decision you will pick," she muttered as she kissed your forehead just like how she did when you were a little girl.
"I don't wanna die mom. I want to live and be with him," the tone in your voice was full of gloomy feelings.
"It'll be okay. Death is normal to be something you don't want, but I will stand by you and your decision," she hugged you with her hand on your shoulder.
The warmth and safety you felt with your mother was perfect. You had just poured out your emotions to her just like how you grew frustrated with school. She was always there to be the comforting person besides Suguru.
"Can you give Satoru this letter I wrote? When you two come to my funeral, I want you to give this to him," you rummaged through your pocket to reveal a crumpled letter.
You had written one before you had gone to bed. With eyes of sadness, you could tell that the letter had tears on them. The dried up water was evident to anyone. Your hands quivered as she took the paper out of your hands.
"Of course. I will hand this to him," she places the letter on the table as she continued to support your slumped figure.
You stayed in her chest while she kept you close. You explain a few more things to her. More about your feelings and elaborating on how Ieiri was basically your caretaker. She was there when you were always hurt and somehow dealt with how much of a pain in the ass you were.
For only a few moments, you felt your eyes begin to close. You were tired from everything and as you laid there motionless, you grew weary. Your eyes showed suffering that was hidden in your gaze for who knows how long. Your mother noticed this and pulled you into the room you used to sleep in.
She laid you there as you continued to grip onto her, "sleep my darling girl."
You squeeze your eyes as the tears grew even more. They slowly hit the bedsheets. You pull onto her hand as she gave a sigh of giving in. She placed herself beside your laid body and kept her hand close together with yours.
You felt like a baby as her free hand brushed away loose strands of hair that fell on your face. She softly brushed away the tears that had been previously dragging down your cheeks. She was doing the same routine when you were a little girl.
"Just like old times mom," you whisper as your eyes relaxed.
Her mouth opened as her soft voice let out. She began to sing a lullaby that brought you to dreamless sleep.
❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜ jessi speaks ! don't forget to vote! and don't be a silent reader! i love reading comments.
filling up on what your parents were like, how your childhood was, and whatnot. still almost there, but not completely there. we're slowly making progress.
⌛️
question of the day: are you an introvert, extrovert, or are you an ambivert?
my response: introvert since i...don't really have friends. haha, i hate talking to people. they scare me sometimes.
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