Portal: Glados' story

Chapter 16

       The elevator brought them to the first test. Another one of Cave Johnson's announcements came on.

      "The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks. Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?"

       "Yes sir, Mr. Johnson!" Caroline exclaimed.

       "Wait, who is that? What the HELL is going on he-?!" The electricity from the potato battery connected to Glados shocked her, melting some of the wires because they weren't made for this.

        Glados was silent the rest of that time through that test, sort of scared of getting shocked again. 

       "Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly." 

       Chell spotted a white surface that goes up to the watch room and put a portal up there, then the other on a wall. She walked through it and Glados followed her into the room. They found a portrait of Caroline and Cave Johnson. 

       "Those people, in the portrait. They look so... familiar..."  

       They got past the next test and another on of Cave's announcements rang across the room. "Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we're gonna [tape cuts out] This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom."  

       "I swear I know him..." 

      They eventually got through the rest of the tests. 

       "Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful. If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building. For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?" 

       Glados seemed to be lost in thought as her and Chell moved on throughout old Aperture. She was trying to put the pieces together. About the two people in the picture, about Cave having a daughter, and about knowing them even though she thinks that she has never seen them in her life.

       "Caroline, Caroline, Caroline. WHY do I know this woman? Did I kill her, or-" Finally, Glados figured it out. Her eyes went wide with surprise and shock as a few tears came up in the corners of them. "Oh my god... Look, you're... doing a great job. Do you think you could handle things by yourself for a while? I need to think..." 

       Chell realized that she remembered and quickly nodded to tell Glados that she can do this by herself for a little bit. 

       Chell got to a door and opened it. Immediately, Glados saw the bird again. She was right behind Chell now, hugging onto her like it was the end of the world. 

       "Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!" The bird went away soon after the door opened. "It flew off. Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking." Glados said, letting go of her.

       Chell and Glados made it to the next room. This time when one of Cave's messages came on over the speakers, he sounded pretty sick. 

       "Welcome to the enrichment center. Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not. As a result, you may have heard we're gonna phase out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though. The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Let's all stay positive and do some science. That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills." 

       Glados remembered another thing. She remembered her father got sick from moon rock poisoning. He eventually got better though and healed. It sent shivers down her spine to hear Cave's voice now that she realized that he is her dad. It seemed so weird to her...

       Glados tried to clear her mind and just hoped to forget everything. She eventually got some tears in her eyes from how much she was stressing herself and how overwhelmed she was from all of this. Chell saw and came over to her, gently placing her hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" 

       "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me..." Glados lied. 

       Chell sighed and left her alone for now. They continued and completed the next test, then hear another one of Cave's announcements. This time it was more of a rant. 

       "All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

       Glados seemed to be agreeing with him, seeming pretty ecstatic. 

       "Alright, well this part goes out to you scientists who think I don't know what your doing by now with this 'A.I project' you're talking about. I'm telling you to stop this. My daughter asked me about this before and I swear to god if you think of hurting her, you will all be in a lot more trouble than just being fired. Brain mapping isn't the best idea, so that is the reason we trashed the project. Just let it go. Sure, it might be a breakthrough, but it's not one I'm willing to take if it would be a risk or if it involves someone getting hurt. 'But Mr. Johnson, you said you don't like safe science?'  Please. Just understand that this is far from being a good idea...Y'know what, just because I don't think anyone is going to listen and do this anyways, you're all fired. Get out of here and never come back. I don't want to see your faces again..."

       Glados stood there in shock and had more tears well up in her eyes. She wiped her eyes and kept walking with Chell.

       "Okay, I'm done. You can head on back to your desk..." The announcement ended.

       "Goodbye..." Glados said silently.

       Chell and Glados got to the next room and started to make their way through. 

       "That man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons. We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body! And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan... wow. I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding. Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity." 

      Chell and Glados eventually made it to another control room. 

       "Wait, I got an idea. That poster over there." Glados walked over to it. "Paradoxes. No A.I. can resist thinking about them. I know how we can beat him!"

       Chell got back down, holding Glados as she landed. She walked over to that elevator and it started to lift them up. 

      "If you can get me in front of them, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head. As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay. Probably..."

       They got to the elevator back to new Aperture and hoped in. "Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with. Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally."

       The elevator rose and took them back up to new Aperture, soon to face Wheatley again...