Finding myself (a klaroline fanfic)

C l o s u r e s (13)

This chapter is dedicated to @nora_serreqi for the lovely comment on the last chapter. I know it's too short, in fact the shortest but I was busy and had to give something.

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The period after a gut wrenching incident, when the reality of the events wash over you is the worst. If you survive, there will always be long lasting effects. Every so often it's guilt that weighs you down, sometimes its inscrutable loss but most of the time its fear that invades you, engraves itself deep in your roots, never leaving.

I was sitting on the chair besides the bed while Klaus was finishing the blood I brought him. He was persistent on sitting up despite the pain as he didn't want to show any vulnerability, that I knew. Not a sign of any weakness but solemness was setting forth his face. We were both silent not knowing what to say. It weighed painfully in the dimly lit room, the heavy confessions hanging in the air.

"Why did Marcel exactly offer you with such an agreement?" His voice was tight and betrayed none of his sentiments. I sighed with relief as the silence broke.

"I don't know exactly." I couldn't think of anything else to say and there was again the silence that I was dreading. They say silence is peaceful but at that moment it was ruinous to me. That silence seemed to seep in my veins and burn them. It stretched to no end and the time ceased but it was now becoming excruciating, extremely deafening and I burst out finally.

"Why are you making me feel like I am the guilty one here? Yes I was stubborn when you told me to leave. Yes I was persistent on staying. Yes I denied Marcel and yes I didn't think it was appropriate to tell anyone but did you even think for a second of the reasons. No, you did not because you think every damn person on the planet is plotting against you, that everyone in the world is born just to conspire. Look past the doubts and inhibitions for once for God's sake Klaus. Open your eyes and see. Try to recognise the people who care and stop punishing them." I was nearly shouting and my gasps were the only sounds resounding in the quite surroundings.

Suddenly I was pinned against the wall. His face was bent, mere inches from mine. His warm and uneven breathes were fanning my face as I looked up to see his eyes blazed with a pending vehemence and I was lost. They never ceased to drown me in their depth, their intensity was like an enigmatic charisma and my breath was caught in my throat. His arms caged me, unmoving.

"I am well aware of your stubbornness and your obdurate choices." His voice was barely above a whisper. " But that's the thing Caroline, I am incapable of looking past you."

His lips close to my ear were igniting mysterious sensations that no one had ever done before. "I will never make you feel obligated for anything." My eyes closed at their own accord as I was trying to seize his touch, his smell, his everything. "But it's difficult to overlook my inhibitions when no one has ever assured me that they are for nothing." My heart obstructed as I looked up again to see his pain and insecurities reflecting in his eyes, as clear as day. He was capable of hiding the pain but incapable of making it vanish.

Words failed me and so I did the only thing I could. I wrapped my arms around him. I held him like he was my anchor and I was the drowned. I could feel his erratic heartbeat against me as my hands caressed the soft and taut skin of his back. His arms were limp at his sides and then slowly crept up the small of my back. His face buried in the crook of my neck and he inhaled deeply making me gasp. "I was worried." I voiced out when I knew worry was too small of a word for what I felt and his hold tightened around me. He raised his head as he kissed me on the forehead, his lips lingering there, assuring me, that he will hold on to me no matter what. I pulled back first and masked the intensity of emotions with a mischievous countenance.

"Now get all your energy back. I bet you are itching to tear some heads off." at which he sighed and his laughter reverberated through me, enticing me awhile and all that was needed to be talked about was forgotten.