Finding myself (a klaroline fanfic)

R e a l i s a t i o n s (17)

Yellow my fellows . This chapter is dedicated to YangOmlas . She deserves it for her constant support by voting on every single chapter.

So enjoy and smile smile my fellas. Break the shell and let it go *cue Demi voice*

P.s orange marmalade and margarine makes a pretty yummy spread.

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When you get a blow from the most unexpected person, it siphons you dry of your courage to continue or to hope. At that moment, I was evoked by the real reasons I came here. To move on, for a fresh start and pristine purposes. They nudged me, reminding me how determined he made me, how vulnerable at the same time.

I was well aware that he was not a saint, far from it. I knew he was subjugated by his rage, about his dominancy, his urge to control everything and also of his ability to hurt me the most, more than anyone else could.

There I was, standing still and to me, everything else did too. I was not sad, I was just angry. Angry and hurt. I looked at Ace lying there. I knew he would wake up considering he was a vampire but would Klaus have snapped his neck even if he was a human? Would he have taken a life just to satisfy his rage? Unfortunately I knew the answer and it terrified me.

"I will take care of him." A voice said from beside, startling me. I turned to come face to face with Cammie who was smiling sadly at me and I hated when someone looked at me like that, I really did but I couldn't blame her. I smiled despite my rage.

"How will you carry him? Letting him rest here wouldn't be so wise." I said feigning an amused tone, in a try to mask.

"Just help me take him upstairs." She shrugged and I nodded as a sign of agreement. We carried him upstairs and laid him down on the couch. After coming back downstairs, I was heading to the door but Cammie's voice from behind halted my steps. I turned fully towards her too see her giving me a relying smile.

"You seem like you need to talk." She stated and I knew I could talk to her. She was one of the most honest and giving person I had ever came across.

"Is it that obvious?" I said with a laugh, my eyebrows raised.

"More than you can imagine." She responded and sat down in the corner seat. I walked to the seat beside her. With some hesitancy I sat down too, folding my arms on the sleek bar. I knew I was doing a bad job at hiding my hurt despite my hearty chuckles.

"So where should I start, you are the psychologist here." I spoke tapping my fingers on the buffet.

"Not yet but I am here as your friend Caroline. Keeping it all in, it slowly starts to dissolve you inside and before you know it, you become indifferent. Believe me, I know." She stated with wistfulness that I knew she possessed.

My eyes were wandering and landed on the chip slightly scraped off on the smooth surface before me and then darted to her expectant eyes. I sighed while a soothing silence engulfed us. I was hesitant, always have and always will to blurt out everything but I knew it was weighing me down at that moment.

"You know I.." I gulped and after a slight pause, continued , "I was always the one that comes after, always the second choice. It was the only thing that held me down and then he came." I smiled despite the bitter memory of our first encounter, when my hate for him rooted.

"Despite his arrogant charisma and unfathomable wicked ways, he showed in his own way, every time, that he was capable of caring, that I was capable of being cared for." I was looking straight ahead. Turning I saw her giving me her undivided attention.