"How can the person you love so much can also be the person to hurt you so much—?" I was pouring my heart out to this complete stranger that surely will not remember her face or worst—this things that I was ranting about.
A hand tapping my shoulder, an interruption to our on going conversation of how my first girlfriend is fucking cheating on me and we are still stuck in this goddamn relationship because I couldn't fucking let go! "Belle you're so fucking wasted!" Audrey shouting over the loud background music "Let's get you home okay?"
"This is your idea!" I say in contest, halting her from abruptly making me step out from the bar stool
Audrey rolled her eyes and shouting Maddy name for her to come over "Help me out here"
But jerk off from trying to hold my hand "No! I'm gonna make last of this fucking night—and probably get laid, right Audrey? That was your idea why we're here!"
"I said that because I was so angry to your girlfriend! But I didn't meant that" too late, I'm considering the idea,
Maddy once again tries to grab my hand "Babe, you're just drunk and trust me when you find yourself waking up from that girl bed? You're gonna regret it—no offense honey, you're hot but our friend is not in her right mind" She says over my shoulder, pertaining to this hot-gorgeous girl sitting next to me that I completely, probably and drunkly shared my whole life while drinking countless shots of vodka.
"I'm not going anywhere, seriously" I say to both of them.
My phone buzzed up from a known caller—reminding me about our shitty relationship....also how I was spamming her drunk text that I don't recall now?
"Erin is calling" I say to no one, "she's my girlfriend, the one I tell you about?" tilting my head to this girl that I already forgot the name.
She smiled, very attractively, never been to another girl other than Erin. But hell, this one is an absolute hot! Blonde short hair, blue eyes with sexy smile and looking like Leonardo De Caprio in hot mess version. How we even get to talk? I don't remember a single moment of how we end up to a full blown conversation?
"Fuck it. I'm going home with you" then grabbing her arms with me.
I'm drunk, brokenhearted and up for new things to explore.
—just like what I said, I'm a fucking competitive person! She wanna play a game? I'm on.
- ———-
2 Days Ago
"Isabella" Heaving a sighed of smile has been me for one month "Still no calls or messages?" Audrey questioning with her hazel eyes dropping to the phone I'm holding.
I put down my phone, shook my head but keeping the bitter smile "Probably just busy" and I've been gaslighting myself for 31 days now. Making myself believed that Erin is just busy with workloads and maybe the pressure being sent in Seattle is so much for her to bear.
Erin and I have been in relationship for 2 years now, it was great! she is my first girlfriend. We're the actual opposite, Erin is mature thinker than me, fine I admit that. She has a better job after graduation, she easily ace the interview to her dream construction company. While I was stuck in a job that only causing me stress and very time consuming.
And this long distance relationship is driving me insanely crazy. The every night overthinking and our time differences is not helping at all. Of course I'am happy for Erin, she was sent to Seattle as one of speakers on behalf of Construction Inc.
"Babe it has been 2 days and still busy?" Audrey shoving the literal facts in my face "Explain this to me belle, because I couldn't quite put it all, Erin is working 24 hours for this past few weeks? She barely replies and you look like bride's corpse—waiting forever. Babe, do you really believe that no matter how the person's busy she could make time to reply or at least update"
I hate to hear the truth—fuck the facts! But Audrey is right, everyone can make time even for a seconds.
"Hey" Maddy waving her hands to us as she is approaching the table with her boyfriend Mike "I miss my girls!" She said between squishing both Audrey and me into her arms.
Mike gave us a smile as he sat down and watching her girlfriend squeezing our last breath before sitting next to him "I can't believe that you're keeping Erin all for you"
Maddy is cheerfully smiling at me while I stuck—more on dumbfounded, "so where's she?" She asked,
"You mean Erin?" Finally Audrey speaks making my mind pulled out from brief confusion.
"Yes silly! Of course! You girls are being weird. Come on Belle, I saw her at the airport yesterday morning and you've been sneaky guys, do you think wearing a cap and face masked will make a difference of not knowing my bestfriend?" I heard Maddy loud and clear but the thing is, it felt like her voice is bouncing inside my head which I couldn't catch.
And then theirs Audrey fuming, muttering cursing words while my brain is still processing until it slowly sinks in and sending me in cold feeling. She's here?
"Hmm..." Maddy hummed, diverting to both of us "Wait....Isabella—you didn't know? And who the fuck is the girl she's with??"
I rushed myself in the toilet by sudden urge of throwing up but there's nothing coming out from my mouth yet my stomach is aching with my palpitated chest abruptly rising and falling.
"Isabella, babe" Audrey voice breaking me out from reverie and little did I know I was already crying "Sorry to check but a message pop up in your phone and it's Erin. Do you want me to come with you to talk to her?"
I blinked the tears, trying to dismissed it but only getting more worst by the thought of us talking and what are the possibility that this might be our end too? And if she says that she's ending our 2 years relationship, will I take it? How will I handle that situation? I love her and I'm not ready to lose Erin because this isn't just loosing my first girlfriend but also, my pride, dignity and self confidence over a fling.
