It's Not My Mates

Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

One month has passed. It seems like a year. Every day goes by slower and slower. Every minute that passes seems to be sixty hours instead of sixty seconds.

The depression has really hit me hard. Half the time I don't eat unless someone in my pack forces me too. The morning sickness is rough. It seems like nothing will stay down. Zane has ordered someone to stay with me every minute of the day (minus when I'm using the restroom or getting ready) because he's worried about me.

Most nights I spend crying myself to sleep. That's all I ever seem to do is cry my eyes out. No matter how hard the others try to get my mind off it, I just can't stop myself.

Sometimes I like to imagine what life would be like if Samuel had just accepted me, despite the fact that I was pregnant. My imaginary life was so much better. He loved me in that life. I know that imagining all of this doesn't help my crying, but in an odd sort of way it gives me a small amount of peace.

“Eat, River.” Zane's father, Arthur, commanded in his Alpha tone.

I did as he said. I didn't exactly eat it though. I nibbled on it more then actually bit into the piece of pie. This didn't stop until the pie was completely gone. Arthur held up a glass of water, tipping it into my mouth letting me sip from it. My body had started to shut down, leaving me weak and pale.

Zane came in to the kitchen. “Hey. Ready to go to bed?”

I didn't say anything in reply. He took that as a yes, and swept me up into his arms. Zane didn't stop carrying me until we had reached my room. He laid me down on my bed, then he started to change me. It wasn't like he hadn't seen my body before. Once he was done, he tucked me up.

“Please get some sleep.” he begged. The bags under his eyes were telling me that he was worried about me.

After an hour of being under his watch, Ira came in to replace him. She was wearing her pajamas which told me that she was spending the night with me. Ira climbed under the covers with me.

“Night, River.” she said.

Not long after that she was fast asleep. That's when the tears started. It wasn't loud sobs, they were completely silent. I didn't want my friends to hear them. They don't need to know how much I cry. Soon I had cried myself into a dreamless sleep.

Samuel's Point of View

“Alpha, Marcy is on the phone.” said my Beta, Craig.

“I don't want to speak to her.” I replied after draining a glass of whiskey.

“She said it's urgent, sir.”

“Tell her I don't give a damn about what she has to say.” I growl at him. “Now get out!”

Craig quickly ran out of the room.

My temper and patience was wearing thin. Everyone in my pack were on edge after dealing with my constant mood swings over the past month.

It keeps getting worse. It's like I see her everywhere I go. Whenever I'm out, I see a brunette and part of me wishes that it was her. The other part is hoping that that bitch is dead. I know, I shouldn't be wishing that my mate was dead but she had betrayed me.

'She didn't know if she was ever going to meet you' my wolf informed me. 'Can you really blame her for that?'

'Don't criticize my decisions.' I growl inwardly at my wolf.

That shut him up. Great just great. Now my wolf is mad at me too. Is there anyone who isn't pissed at me at the moment? Hell, I'm even pissed at myself.

Maybe I should stop being such a bastard and go to her. I should hear her side of the story. I knew I couldn't do that though. My pride is too strong. Even if she is my mate, I couldn't swallow it down that much. No, instead I was just going to have to deal with not having her by my side.

My phone starts to ring. I look down at it to see I have a new text from Marcy.

~She isn't doing well. I hope your happy, jack ass!~

I sigh. Wonderful, my best friend hates me. My mate should hate me. She has every right too.

You know, I didn't even know her name until two weeks after I rejected her. River. What a gorgeous name. When I'm alone at night, sometimes I will whisper it to myself until I fall asleep. It's just that one name that allows me to fall asleep.

Maybe after she has had that.....bastard then I can go to her. Then I might allow myself to accept her as my mate. As cruel as it sounds, I just can't have her as my mate when she is carrying another's child.

Marcy's Point of View

“I can't take this depression anymore!” I groaned in frustration to Zane. “Doesn't Sam even care that he is slowly killing her?”

“I can see why he rejected her.” was all he said.

That made me turn to him. “What?!?!?”

“I would probably have reacted the same way if it had been you with his child.” he tells me. “He feels like he was betrayed by his mate. He probably felt like River didn't care about finding him and screwed everything that moved whenever she felt like that. Samuel doesn't know her like we do. He doesn't know that she isn't like that. So he just had to assume.”

I couldn't hold it in. I started to cry into his shoulder. “I wish he would just talk to me! Or he would come and accept her!”

“I wish for that too, Marcy, but we both know that that's not going to happen.” he said.

I paused for a moment, pulling out of his arms. “You're right.”

“I know I am.” he looks at me. “What's that look for?”

“I'm going to go to him and force him to come here.”