P O S T E D ✓

A Closed Door

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With Christmas over I wasn't sure what I had to look forward to anymore.

I distantly heard the knock on the front door, but I didn't think of it. It was probably a neighbour dropping off late holiday cookies or Gabe. Neither were of great interest to me.

I'd managed to cheer myself up for the holidays and I had actually had a wonderful day, but now the post-holiday depression seemed to be creeping in. After New Years I'd be back at school and I had a lot of faces to see with uncertain expressions on them. Still I was trying to see the positives. Sitting around for days wasn't going to help me for very long. I needed a routine. I'd always been someone who needed organisation and that had been slipping greatly from my fingers recently. Maybe now that I'd had some time off to get my thoughts together and clear my mind and heart I'd be better off. 

"Sweeite! You have a guest!" my mom shouted and then I heard her in quieter voice say something to someone else. Then someone was coming up the stairs. 

The figure that appeared in the doorway to my room stopped me mid breath. I'd been tucked up on my bed reading a book before, trying to keep my brain off of real life. It was so much better to immerse myself into fiction every now and again. I mean I wasn't Sarah, reading in every spare moment I had, but being friends with her had exposed me to the hobby and I found it quite pleasant. Although art was more up my ally. 

The moment my eyes met his though the book was forgotten and I placed on the top of my comforter. 

"Harrison." I whispered. 

He hadn't stepped though the doorway yet. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his jeans and his shoulders were slumped forwards slightly as though he was hoping to curl in on himself. It was clear this wasn't the confident Harry I knew so well. Or rather, thought I knew. 

He offered a small, hesitant smile when I made no further move, "Hi Monty." 

At the sight of him all my emotions came flooding back and I knew the water works were on their way. 

"How could you let it go on for so long? All those weeks, dates, kisses. Did you not see how much I... how much I cared for you?" the words flowed out of me faster than I could comprehend them. 

His smile dropped and he slumped even more if that was possible. Clearly he wasn't expecting me to jump into thing sos quickly. and neither was I was, but to be sure this was the best way to get things started. He took a few hesitant steps into my room. It was so different from the last time he was here and everything was okay. 

"It got away from me." He answer pathetically, "I liked you. I thought you were pretty and endearing and I wanted to get to know you. Is that so wrong of me?"

I got up off the bed so I could get closer to him. 

"You know that's not what this is about Harry. You hurt me. You manipulated my feelings with no care for the pain it would cause me. I thought... I thought we had something special." I challenged, trying to keep him on track and not let myself get conned by avoiding the subject.

"Do you really think so little of me?" he asked, and there seemed to be genuine hurt in his voice, but I couldn't trust it. He let out a dejected, downtrodden sigh, "I'm sorry, Tana. I shouldn't have used you as a way to get back at Liana. It was wrong of me. But you're wrong if you think that is all it was." 

I shook my head and turned to look out the window, "I don't know what I'm supposed to think."

"When I first began to suspect Liana of cheating on me with Donny I tried to turn a blind eye. Convince myself it wasn't true and deny myself a proper reaction. Liana's and I's relationship was always so different from other peoples. It was strange and I'm not sure how I would describe it. In some ways were weren't really even dating, which made me feel like I had no right to be angry even if she was seeing someone else. Of course, in the eyes of other people I was hers and she was mine so...