Crying in the Car

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I had never known a heavier silence than this one. It reminded me of the silence that would linger in my house when I was a child in the aftermath of every one of my parents' fights.

I hadn't said his name yet. I had been searching for him all night, before everything went to shit. It turns out there is a difference between wanting to talk to someone and then... actually doing the talking. I wasn't quite at the forming words part yet.

Issac had also turned the music off as soon as the car started. It seemed that he wanted it to be as awkward as possible, but at the same time this pain in my chest distracted me. A pain of betrayal that Harrison had left behind.

I had been nothing to him.

I actually believed that a guy like him could honestly be satisfied with me.

I was wrong.

There was always something else motivating him. 

He was wrong too, if he believed he cared about me. How could he care about me and say those things to Liana? 

She had been wrong to cheat on him, I could see why that would hurt him so much but that didn't excuse what he did to me. I didn't deserve to be dragged into their mess. 

Was it my fault? It felt like there had been something real between us, but I had just fallen for what the act he was playing. 

Everything happened so fast. Looking back it was all a blur at the moment. The night had been one disaster after another and it should have been no shock to see that it all ended in the decimation of our relationship.

All this time I thought I would do something to mess it up. That something would happen to break the perfect bubble my life had breathed into existence, but that wasn't the case. Because it had never been perfect. It had never been anything but a lie.  

There was nothing to ruin, but my own pride and naivety. 

I had gone outside looking for Issac, but had found heartbreak instead. 

What had Liana thought of all that? Did she want me to find out? Why hadn't she told me in the first place. It would make more sense for her to tell me since she had been against Harry and I from the start. 

I sniffled.

Well her wish finally came true.

We were done. And I was the one who ended up burnt. 

I couldn't stop the tears as they started falling again and I tried to keep them quiet and discrete so Issac wouldn't notice. 

It was futile. I mean I was only about two feet away from him in a silence-heavy car. He could probably hear a pin drop let alone my obnoxious blubbering.

It was embarrassing for both of us I'm sure. Issac didn't seem like the type who was very good with people who cry and on top of that he was a guy so that probably made it even harder on him.

Then there was the fact that he probably hated me now. Even after he had told me how he felt I had been a selfish cow. Not apologizing for my actions and lying to him.

I let him walk away from me under the bleachers and had barely said a word to him since. 

I was a horrible person.

No wonder I wasn't good enough for Harrison.

The thought only made my tears fall harder.

"Monty?"

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