I'm a mess without you ; Trixya

Nineteen

Katyas POV:

I dropped her off at the beginning of her street, and as I watched her walk inside, I thought about how much trouble I just got her into. I thought about the fact that I told her how I wasn't the type for anything serious, but the truth is that I am just afraid to hurt her because I know how I am and that my reputation about these kind of things are really bad. After hooking up with Joe everyone sees me like the russian whore who is addicted to sex but I mean my god when it happens it happens its like a oops I did it again moment. But if one day I am going to date her, I will be the best girlfriends she's ever had, as far as she even had a girlfriend once.

Oh shut up Katya she's straight

Well yeah but I don't even recognize myself anymore. I am making such efforts with her, like usually I fuck people and them they and I am satisfied, but with Trixie I want to di everything right. I take her out sometimes and I am riding her home and I am just over all taking care of her.

I drove back home with a bit of an headache because of this whole mother Trixie trouble situation. But I would lie if I say that I didn't enjoy her being over and watching this horror movie with me. Overtime a horror scene came up I hoped that she would want to cuddle with me, which kinda happened. I mean she even fell asleep on me.

Once back at my place I cleaned everything, I threw the empty containers in the trash and made the couch look nice again. While I did that I noticed that the mix of Trixies honey shampoo and strawberry perfume was still in the blanket, so with no further a do I took the blanket and put it on my bed. After finishing cleaning I go up to my room and get ready for bed, but before I even thought of sleeping I texted Trixie

Katya💀: Hey princess I hope your mom didn't kill you too much

Trixie🌸: No don't worry I told her that I was over to Delas so its fine. Thank you for that amazing evening again

To be honest it kinda hurt when she said that she told her mom she was over to Delas. It sounded like she was ashamed of me or something like that so I decided to just text a smiley back

Katya💀: :)

I pushed the thought of Trixie being ashamed away and faced the situation how it was, I fucked up with her mom and thats why Trixie didn't want even more trouble.

The next day came pretty quick and I had a good 6 hours of sleep. I went to school as usual and stopped next to the entry to meet up with Fame and smoke one. "Hey you cunt" Fame said "Hey Hoe" I replied "Thank you for letting me alone on that party yesterday, but it was fun even without you. I got a hook up but I forgot his name so fucking wasn't that great" she said while dragging at her cigarette and then went on "Where were you yesterday?" I got nervous but I told her the truth I meant after all she's my best friend "Well I was watching a movie with Trixie. We were supposed to go to a car cinema but it started to rain we grabbed some food and went back to my place where we watched a movie" Fame looked at me kinda weird "Katya what the fuck is happening with you? Look girl you're my best friend and I know that this isn't you. What the fuck you never used to care for the people you were together with, you'd only fuck them and then let them go" I tried to find he right words but I couldn't really express it the way I wanted to "I don't know its just I am being serious with Trixie, we have this friends with extras thing going on and I don't want her to think that I am just being nice to her to get her body you know what I mean?" Of course she didn't know what I meant. "Oh Katya are you starting to like like her?" That was the one million dollar question, and I didn't know the answer to it. I mean yeah sure she was nice but Like like? I don't know. "Dunno, maybe ,maybe not". Our little talk was over because of the stupid loud bell ringing.

I had to figure this whole Trixie thing out before shit gets real.

I saw her while walking to my class and I hugged her to say hello "Hey princess how was your day so far?" she looked at me with her brown google eyes and chuckled "Hey Katya. Well I don't think that waking up way too early is the best thing in the morning". We continued our smalltalk and I walked with her to her classroom. Great she has Mr.Kressley now. What a jerk.

After leaving her I rushed to my class and got there on time thankfully. The whole time the only thing that came to my mind was the whole Trixie thing and I mean I wanted to carry on with what we were having, but I don't think that its going to be enough for me. I want to be able to call her mine and I don't know how long I can take this friends with benefits thing. But then on the other hand what if she doesn't feel the same as I do? What if I fuck everything up because I was being selfish and wanted her for myself ?