I run my fingers over his chest and I let my fingers find his freckles. By the third one I’m sobbing.
After about an hour of crying I pull myself together and convince myself that no matter how much I want to just stay next to Jake until he wakes up, I need to at least call his mom and tell her.
So I slowly and without any energy in my body I climb off the bed. I kiss Jakes lips and walk over to the window. I stare out of it and see that it’s raining. Even the stupid sky is crying.
With shaky fingers I call Jakes old house, Hannah answers on the third ring, and her voice is way to cheerful. I want to hang up so that I don’t have to cause any one pain. But I force myself to clear my throat and speak, “Hannah?”
“Maggie? Is that you? Please tell me you’re calling to tell me that you, Jake and that beautiful grand daughter of mine and coming to visit this weekend.”
I bite my lip as my eyes fill with fresh tears, “Hannah we won’t be able to come up this weekend… because-“
She cuts me off, “What?! Tell Jake he has no choice! I don’t care what you guys are doing this weekend!”
“Hannah, Jake is in a coma.”
I hear a sharp intake of breathe and then something fall to the floor with a clatter. I grasp the wall and sink to my knees trying to muffle my sobs with my hands. I need to stay strong for Hannah.
“What do you mean?” She asks. All emotion stripped from her voice.
I shake my head, “I just found out. I got home and there was a message on the answering machine. He got into a car accident.”
“Oh god.” Hannah whispers.
After about ten minutes Hannah has told David and he’s agreed to tell my parents. They’ll all be here in about an hour.
I practically crawl across the floor and climb onto the bed. I lie down next to Jake, “I love you.” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer and my eyes fill with tears. “Please Jake, wake up.”
No response. I take his hand and press it to my lips, “I need you Jake. Lily needs you.”
He doesn’t answer, I wait for a squeeze of a finger, or flutter of his eyelashes. When nothing happens I start to cry.
I close my eyes letting the tears fall and I think about just this morning. When his hands had been running over me, and holding me close. How his blue eyes had stared into mine with lust, and love. How he had grinned at me. How he had just been active and perfect. I also think about the last time I saw him, the last things we said to each other and I replay that memory in my mind over and over.
He had held me close and he had said, “I really really love you”
