Dear Elizabeth

July 5th

To whom it may concern:

Hello there, stranger with a familiar face,

Are you already giving up in Mom's games?

Twelve years you have lived,

Twelve years you've been alive,

But I've been told that you're thinking about suicide,

Because these twelve years have been full of agony and lies,

You feel hopeless, trapped, with no way out,

I don't blame you, and I won't judge,

It surprises me how, against her, you've never held a grudge,

After all these years, I finally understand,

I fully understand why that day you brought up a very sharp object to both of your wrists,

I assure you that now it kind of makes sense,

I thought about that day over and over again,

The day you slid down to the bathroom floor, with your back against the wall,

Two months before you turned eleven,

Mom came rushing into your life,

But she came back with a new baby this time,

A little girl, your little sister,

Daisy, that was her name,

You didn't care, if accepting her would help Mommy stay,

Then you would love Daisy, so Mom would never leave again,

I think this time was one of the worst,

Mom...

She completely changed,

She was different, she was cold,

She was distant, always in her own zone,

Sincerity no longer rested in her eyes,

A master manipulator was what she had become,

I remember something clearly, even though I don't want to say,

Because these words have haunted me, and I'm afraid,

Afraid that on you, it will have the same effect,

You see, darling, your oldest sister asked Mom a question,

Her reply...it shouldn't even be mentioned,

When Mom came around this second time,

Your sister asked her if she wasn't going to apologize,

What did Mom say?

With arrogance and pride,

She said she wasn't going to spend the rest of her life apologizing for what she did,

She was only going to apologize once, and that was it,

At the beginning of July,

She was desperate, and to you,  she lied,

You went to her door and let her know you were ready to go,

You guys were going to the carnival as a family,

Not that she understood the meaning of that,

She spent the whole evening in her own world,

She seemed mad,

It makes me so angry now,

It angers me how she would put on a show like that,

The day after, July fifth,

She spent it with you,

Her delicious food she even cooked,

However, her mood wasn't the best,

It was so obvious, that the night before,

Your sister's husband gave you a little talk,

After the carnival, he stopped you outside the house,

He told you not to get attached,

Mom was different, this time she wasn't putting up an act,

He told you to be careful because at any moment she could pack up her bags,

He asked you to pretend,

He asked you to pretend that she was only visiting for a bit,

July fifth, that July night,

Your brother called your sister and told her that Mom was gone,

He was supposed to spend the night with her, but he never got the chance,

Once again, Mom had left,

She took everything, and only left a note behind,

If it can even be called that,

For that pride of hers,

She sure wrote some ironic words,

She apologized, and said...

What did she say again?

Oh yes,

She said she hoped that one day we would find it in our heart to forgive,

To forgive her for all her mistakes,

Now, tell me Liz,

Did you ever forgive her?

Or did you choose to forget?

I will go with the latter,

Because as I write this,

I'm being bombarded by old pains,

I'm letting you go for today,

I'm giving you time to let all this information sink in,

Just hope that the next time I write, you'll still be there.

                    Sincerely,

                                     Elizabeth