Dear Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

I am writing this poem because you never had the chance,

Because in order to deal with something,

First you must be able to accept,

I'm surprised you've turned out an Ok person,

Considering that you didn't have Mami to teach you life's lessons,

You were only 8 years old, but she still left,

She left you behind out of pure selfishness,

As a young child,

You saw things no children should ever see,

When you were only supposed to worry about Barbie and Ken,

The cruel reality had already struck you many times in the face,

But your age didn't matter, it was only a number,

A number which signifies your fall down under,

Many times you tried to deny it, hoping it was a lie,

You tried to wake up many mornings, hoping it was all a bad dream,

But guess what, honey?

She really did leave

Many thought you were lucky for every material thing you had,

Some of them even considered you a little brat,

But everything comes with a high price,

It wasn't fair, not fair at all

That you had to watch your Papi crying countless times,

Self-medicating with alcohol in hopes of escaping the past,

He tried to protect you the best way he could, he really did

But he had also lost the love of his life,

A woman he has never been able to really live without,

His pain was too great for him to bear,

In such case, how could he have helped you heal the proper way?

He was more than angry and hurt, I assure you he was,

Not only had he lost his wife, but he also realized that there was betrayal involved,

After she left, her dirty secrets started to come into the surface,

Secrets which exposed all her lies,

People knew things about her which you did not, 

If they had only said something,

Who knows what your life might've been like,

It was a rainy night when it happened,

One of the worst things you lived,

You were only 8 years old, but Papi didn't care,

You see, Daddy had a gun, and he put it to his head,

Even though you don't want to remember, he said he didn't want to live,

The pain had become too great, the tears rolled down his cheeks,

Alcohol was present in his voice and in his breath,

He had become distant and was falling way too deep,

You started crying, your sobs being the only sound in the room,

You pulled on his arm, pulled the gun away,