Darkness in Disguise

Chapter 12

It doesn't take long to unpack the little belongings I have with me. Just clothes and the occasional piece of jewellery. Lenna does most of it, despite my protests.

I settle down on my cot as Lenna potters around some more, this time putting her own belongings near her smaller cot off to the side. I don't mind having my lady-in-waiting sleeping in the same room as me, unlike other ladies of the Court. I actually prefer it. It reminds me of my sisters, but without all the squabbling.

It brings a pain to my chest to think about them and I rub at it subconsciously. Pictures of them fill my mind without permission. Blonde hair like mine woven with flowers and plaited intricately by my youngest sister. I think that they would have liked Saria and Lenna. The thought of them being here with us brings a small but bitter smile to my face. I wouldn't want them to be here with me no matter how much I long to see their faces one more time. I wouldn't wish for them to be anywhere near Arazael and his tyrannical father. Sometimes a small part of me thinks it is for the better that they died in Luin, in our home. I always scold myself for thinking so but at least they don't have to see what the world has become and who I have become, what I have been made to do. 

What would they think if they saw me now? What would Mother and Father think? Would they call me spineless? Weak? Asking why I don't do more to stop him? To stop Laeron. 

I have asked myself the same many times over the years of my captivity. Why am I not strong enough? I tried countless times when I first arrived at the Mountain in Tenebraein, the dark court. I tried to rebel against him, to refuse his demands, to escape. But it was all in vain. He was simply too strong. He punished me every time, each one more severely than the last until I had no more fight left. Until he had stripped almost all of my identity from me. Until I was nothing but his prisoner; forced to do his bidding, to help him conquer the other courts one by one. 

My magic swirls in my blood in response to my emotions but I push it down. The last thing I need is to hurt someone. 

Unless that someone is Arazael.

But I cannot do that. Not if I want to live. 

I shake my thoughts from my head and stand, smoothing out my skirts with my hands. Lenna looks over as she finishes bending down to place her small trunk under her cot. She straightens and clasps her hands in front of her.

"I think we shall join the others for dinner Lenna." I voice, beginning to walk to the entrance of the tent. 

Lenna bows slightly, "Yes M' Lady." She follows me out into the clearing where the guards have built a large fire, its flames burning high into the darkening sky. Logs have been haled over and placed in a sort of circle and a cook stands over a large cauldron. His face is flushed from the heat of the bubbling stew he is stirring. He begins to ladle out portions into wooden bowls. 

The smell wafts its way over to me. It seems to be rabbit. My stomach growls hungrily. Lenna giggles slightly under her breath before going quiet as I look over to her. Her face morphs into surprise when I begin to laugh quietly with her. She gives me a tentative smile which I return. 

"I think we should get some of that stew before my stomach becomes the most terrifying beast out here." I say, placing a hand on my middle. Lenna giggles again and nods at me, I smile at the fact she seems to have a semblance of comfort around me. 

We make our way over to the fire, where guards are beginning to form a line next to the cook, receiving their helpings. We wait our turn in line, ignoring the murmurs of the guards and their nosy glances at us, or more specifically me. I can feel every pair of eyes on me; some curious and others sneering.