Love is a Battlefield

Jay's Party

Ben rolled over in bed waking up from his crying induced nap pulling out his phone. There's a text from Carlos waiting for him.

"Hey, Prince. Just checking in on you. I know you aren't okay but I just want to remind you I'm here for you." His text read making Ben smile. He snuggled up better under his blanket.

"I took a nap and I'm doing better. Thank you, Puppy. Are we just using the nicknames again now? I like it. It makes me smile." Ben replied wishing he hadn't sent that. He shouldn't be admitting to how much the small things with Carlos make him happy.

"Sure. I missed calling you Prince. It suits you so well you are such the prince type. I can imagine you with a little crown and everything saving some poor other prince from a big scary dragon." Carlos replied making Ben chuckle he started to reply.

"I'd love to save a puppy from a dragon instead." Before deleting that and sending instead, "Maybe someday I'll save the prince of my dreams..." Ben sighed rolling his eyes at himself. God, he was pathetic. He just lost his boyfriend and all he can think about now is Carlos and how nice it is to be close to him. He was always there for Ben no matter what. At least now there's no guilt for his feelings. This brings a small smile to his lips despite his still aching heart.

"You'll have him someday Ben. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Carlos replied and Ben groaned. He wanted that to mean something else but he knew he was just trying to comfort Ben. He didn't bother replying he just rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.

The next day Ben didn't want to go to school but he did. Seeing Harry doing just fine made the wound to his heart rip open all over again and it took all his energy not to focus on how much it hurt. He breathed easy not being in class with Harry. His best classes were the ones with Carlos where he was doing everything in his power to keep Ben distracted from the things that pained him. He wanted to be as supportive as he could be considering the situation.

When lunchtime rolled around Harry sat with Uma and Gil but Jay stuck around with the normal group again. Ben ate lunch only at Carlos's insistence before Jay finally spoke up.

"So I'm having a party at my place tonight and you guys are all invited. It's going to be a good one since we don't have school tomorrow and my dad is totally cool about getting us booze." Jay grinned. Everyone but Ben and Jane seemed really into it. Carlos kissed Jay sweetly smiling at the mention of having some rum punch already ready at home which was his favorite. He looked at Ben before whispering to Jay. "Ben, you should totally come and get yourself back out there, dude. I mean no point in moping when he isn't right?" Carlos winced a little bit at Jay's attempt to inspire Ben to actually go. Ben gave a half-smile and nodded reluctantly.

"Sure. I'll be there." His voice sounding more pleasant and confident than what he truly felt. Carlos smiled a little sadly at him before hooking arms with both Ben and nudging him.

"Just think about all the dancing and fun were gonna have." Carlos smiled more genuinely making Ben smile and nod. The rest of the school seemed to buzz with the excitement of a wet party at Jay's house. Inside Ben didn't want to go but he already agreed. When he got home he took a shower to freshen up and got dressed in something party-appropriate, trying to look more available and handsome, though he wasn't sure how. The idea of trying to date again felt awkward and foreign. It still felt too soon but his mind filled with the images of Uma and Harry again before he decided to pick a nice tight-fitting shirt and some tight pants, really sell his body tonight, why not?

He drove to Jay's once the party was already started and immediately regretted his decision. In the living room, the first person he spies is Harry dancing on Uma and Gil both, just having a good time red solo cup in hand. Ben made a straight line to the kitchen through the swath of people and immediately grabbed a cup full of the punch. The burn of alcohol singed the back of his throat ebbing the tears from threatening his eyes. He downed two full cups worth before wandering the house aimlessly with his third cup of spiked punch. It was going to take a little bit for the booze to kick in. Being a good kid it honestly took a lot less time for the alcohol to start working than he anticipated. He started dancing randomly with people not really thinking. By the time he had his fourth cup, Ben was a complete mess. He was just dancing on people. The room was spinning a bit he decided to find Carlos, the only thing his drunk brain could process were his thoughts of his friend he barely saw all night. He stumbled to jays room opening the door only to interrupt Jay in bed with Carlos ontop of him. Ben immediately slammed the door shut and felt the alcohol coming back up. He stumbled as quickly as he could to the bathroom and started throwing up, door locked. He couldn't help the tears that came with it. He was a complete mess on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. He went between sobbing and vomiting for about five more minutes before there was a knock at the door.

"Ben?" Carlos called through the door. Ben groaned as his whole body wobbled.

'Go away." Ben slurred heavily resting his head against the wall. Carlos knocked again.

"Ben open the door," Carlos commanded trying the handle but finding it locked.

"GO AWAY CARLOS." Ben slurred angrily annoyed, images of Carlos on top of Jay bringing fresh bile to his throat as he vomited the last of the alcohol into the toilet flushing it down.

"Benjamin open this door right now," Carlos demanded again. He knew Carlos was mad because he used his full first name whimpering at the effort Ben unflicked the lock and Carlos opened the door. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. His outfit was disheveled and he clearly had dressed rather hastily. He had a bottle of water he offered to Ben who slapped his hand away weakly.

"Booze" Ben demanded lamely but Carlos grunted and opened the water and forced Ben to drink some.

"Go back to your stupid boy... friend... I don't need help. I'm fine. Just fucking fine." Ben slurred moving his hands wildly hiccupping. Carlos sighed heavily and looked at Ben hard.

"How many drinks have you had?" He asked in a demanding tone making Ben grumble trying to count on his fingers. In truth, he didn't know but he was safely in the zone of five or six. Carlos sighed heavily and tried to hoist Ben up but he refused to budge.

"Leave me alone. Go fuck your boyfriend." Ben snapped at Carlos making him clench his jaw.

"What is your problem? You're drunk and I'm taking you home." He tried to be bossy but Ben was like a spoiled brat right now, throwing a temper tantrum.

"You have no idea what my problem is? MY boyfriend just cheated on me with some stupid... " he couldn't formulate an insult for Uma, he didn't really know her that well. He sighed and glared. "Everyone wanted me to come and have fun. I'm having fun, right? Aren't I? This is fun. Being trashed in Jay's stupid bathroom puking my eyeballs out while you try to act like you care." Ben was being meaner than he meant to be and Carlos's patience was wearing thin.

"What is that about? I've only been trying to help you.' Carlos knew better than to take a drunk man seriously but frankly, he was hitting a nerve. Carlos didn't care? Like fuck he did, he cared too much about Ben, that was half the reason he just left Jay blue balled in his bedroom to come to check on him.

"Jay, Jay, Jay. It's always Jay." Ben says vaguely gesturing at the walls as if they somehow were a part of his problem.

"What about jay?" Carlos pressed brows furrowed in confusion. Ben looked Carlos directly in the eyes. Both their hearts practically stopped. Ben was too drunk to stop himself. He leaned in pressing a weak kiss to Carlos's lips. He sat stunned, too stunned to react. Ben slumped back against the wall defeated starting to cry again.

"It doesn't matter anyway. I just want to go home." He tried to stand up but fell over onto Carlos who finally regained his senses and hoisted him up. He opened the bathroom and started to drag Ben out. People were starring and watching, worst was Harry who just stared in surprise at how out of character this was for Ben. Ben tried to flip him off, but Carlos grabbed his hand. He managed to get him out to Ben's car and push him into the passenger seat. Carlos got in the front seat, digging the keys from Ben's pocket and started the car. He was well and truly sober right now. Ben had kissed him, and his heart was racing. He wanted answers but his head swirled with excuses and logic telling him it was a drunken mistake. He pushed the thoughts aside and started driving Ben home. Ben just curled up in the passenger seat and sobbed for half the drive. When Carlos parked the car he just sat there in silence for a long moment. He couldn't process everything.

"Why did you kiss me?" Carlos finally asked and Ben didn't speak. He just sat quietly not saying anything at all. Carlos took a shaky breath and submitted that this wasn't the time to be asking questions. He got out and helped Ben up to his bed. Once Ben was in bed he quickly passed out. Carlos took out his phone and called Jay.

"Hey, babe... sorry for bailing like that. Ben is a complete mess. I don't think that the party was a good idea. I'm gonna stay here and keep an eye on him. I'm sorry." Carlos started pacing back and forth.

"Sure whatever. He looked pretty fucked up. Talk to you later." He hung up. Carlos pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before going to get some aspirin and water. He sat on Ben's bed watching him sleep for a bit before curling up on the edge of the bed and getting some sleep.