Hermitcraft Season 6 oneshots (mostly songfics and angst)

Christmas special!

so here is something from me to you guys as your Christmas present~ (I know I posted something in September that's a Christmas story, I'm sorry. go read that if you want more Christmas angst. It's the dear Stress thing.) anyways, without further ado, I introduce you to the Hermitcraft Christmas Story! enjoy~ <3 (I know it's not Christmas yet, but I'm going on a trip during Christmas so I can't update so here you go, have a bag full of incorrect quotes~)

Stress: It's Christmas time & you know what it means!

Iskall: The happiness that I haven't feel for 50 years?

Xisuma: Everyone trying to kill each other on the dinner table?

Mumbo: The sweet release of death?

Grian: The fact that I will only get coal from Santa?

Stress: I was gonna say "ugly sweaters competition" but you know what? We're going to therapy.

Grian: It's almost time to switch from our regular everyday weapons to our Christmas weapons

Mumbo: Is there a difference? and why do you ha-

Grian: Yes. The Christmas ones light up when someone dies.

Mumbo (to Grian): Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, you said that was gay. but that's ok.

False: Alright, let's see if anyone signed up to be Santa because I'm not doing it again.

False: Grian, why did you sign up to be Santa?

Grian: What I can't do something nice and be Santa for once?

False: No.

Mumbo: This year, there will be no running around the house, naked, and singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. I'm looking at you.

Grian: I only do it because people have come to expect it.

Iskall: The elf on the shelf is not a cute holiday tradition, but rather a physical embodiment of the Orwellian dystopia that we live in today. It is a ploy to make kids blindly accept a surveillance system in their homes and-

Mumbo: PLEASE shut up and help me make cookies.

Mumbo: (hanging stocking) There. Grian's stocking is hung by the mantle so Santa will bring him a present.

Grian: Aw, Mumbo, this is embarrassing. I mean, I'm not a kid anymore.

Mumbo: Oh. Well, I'll take it down.

Grian: NO-

 Mumbo: Grian, I appreciate your Christmas spirit but we're going to get a noise complaint!

Grian: [shouting to be heard over eight speakers all playing Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You] THEN SO BE IT!

Xisuma: It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety!