Chapter 19

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Getting off the bed this morning wasn't as effortless as it used to be. The moment my eyes opened guilt gushed through me. The likely consequences of last night's act stared me in the face. What if Deliwe got pregnant, or announced in school that she slept at my place?

That I'd gone against my resolve didn't feel nice. Just for four weeks, I couldn't stay faithful to my woman. I'd let myself down.

It would be crass pretence if I denied enjoying the girl's company. In no small measure, I did. But I could have done better counselling her. Being one of the school teachers, and living under her father's roof, it wasn't out of place to guide her.

Guilt invaded every artery in me. Yenzo's image showed on the wall with tears in her eyes. She even asked why I had to act against my own conscience. How would I justify it to her that loneliness and extreme cold weather pushed me to act against my own better judgement? I definitely owed her an explanation.

6:25 a.m. blinked at me from my phone's screen saver. I grabbed the device hoping to clear my mind by telling Yenzo that her man was rascally the night before. That might help lighten the heavy burden that kept my spine stiff.

"Hello, Sweetheart."

"Hi, Darling. You've not called this early before. Are you missing me so bad?"

Her voice sounded cheerful, giving me the impression that she was preparing for the office.

"Err...I..I.. do miss you. But I had to call you this morning."

"Oh, okay. What is it about? Are you all right? "

"I'm okay, dear. It's just that there is something I want to tell you."

Unlike what I'd thought, telling her that I messed up didn't come easy. How did one put it in words that he'd cheated on his woman?

Would I say that a school girl represented her on the bed, or that an overnight duet took place on the couch? Or better still, two people wrestled on the bed and I took part. It felt awkward trying to clear the air over the phone.

Not sure how she would react, my handset felt heavier as I heaved a sigh. Being short-tempered, Yenzo could smash her phone on the wall or do something crazier. It would be better to admit it face to face. That way, I'd do a proper apology.

"I just want to wish you a Happy Valentine in advance. It comes once in a year, and I won't be around you then. It hurts that we'd be far apart, despite all that I'd promised last year. So, I decided to call this early to express my unreserved love for the apple of my eyes. I love you, Yenzo."

Even over the phone, tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke to her. Deep down within me, I knew I'd betrayed her. But she chuckled, and that made me feel better.

"You are full of surprises, you know. Oh, how sweet of you. I love you too, my Jack. I can't stop thinking about you. It's cool to know that you didn't forget your promise last year. Please keep yourself strong until your return. We have a lot to talk about. Is there something else you want to tell me?"

"No...I mean...yes, I am staying strong here. It's just that it gets cold and windy, and sometimes I wish you are around. No matter what others say or do to me, or what I do to them, day or night, you remain my jewel. You are the one that brings me joy. Keep that in mind please."

"I will. Your words are so heart-warming today, and you have made my day already. Sweetheart, do have a wonderful day ahead. Mwaaah!"

It felt relieving to have spoken to her in that manner. If she'd listened carefully, I hinted at last night's act, hoping she would make it out. At least the cloud of guilt hovering around me got cleared.

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