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(11/10/14)

When is there a day I'm not down and out?

Well. I should start explaining weird stuff that's been going on.

Tony, I haven't really spoken about him much because I'm trying to keep him out of mind. He was an abusive man I dated for months.. A year to be exact. I met him online and blah blah blah BLAH BLAH.

Now, when we met IRL I gave him my special knife, I met him on July 4th. It was cool, honestly. I met someone from the internet world. He gave me a pink bracelet I wear alllll the time.

Fast forward to now.. I escaped him. But he used his knife to slash 6 tires.

... What.

This is why I couldn't leave him before, he did something stupid! I felt like I was placed in his life to keep him calm and collected. I know how he is and why he is like that.. No one else really gets it or sees it. It's all due to his Father..

.. Whoooo Was the persons TIRES he slashed.

He felt justified due to his father being an abusive man.. Which Tony reflects on that quite well.

That's one situation, now he's in hiding from the police.. Because he's 18 he could actually be charged with something. I don't know where he is and I honestly don't care. I'm just nice enough to stick around for when he needs someone to make sure he's okay. I don't want to be tied up in anything else with him. I feel bad it was the knife I gave him a long time ago for sentimental reasons.. NOT FOR HIM TO SLASH TIRES.

~

Another situation is with Tyler. Now this one makes my head spin because I know exactly how this is going to sadly end.

Tyler is dating this chick from the state above us. That's all fine and dandy but the way it came about rings alarms to me.

Before I comment on the story let me actually type it out.

Tyler went to this place where a bunch of choirs from our string of schools sing, and met this girl named Courtney. Those two hang out often while he was DOWN THERE FOR A WEEKEND and that being THE FIRST TIME THEY EVER MET.

I guess he asked her if she was okay or something and then they hugged for a long time, and didn't stop hugging and talking and clinging to each other. Tyler asked her if she believed in love at first sight and she said "not until I met you."

... Oooookay Guys this is cute and all but YOU GUYS BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER and you're both clearly desperate for someone to love you. The girl isn't that bad looking but holy sh*t the world does not work like this.

And now you're both long distance??? Sheeeeeeesh this won't end pretty. I'll support him and be there for him the best I can though.. Because I really do actually want him happy.. Aaaaand if this disaster makes him happy I'll guide him through it because..

Okay, the kids 18 and I'm 16 but we both have been through different stuff, me being I've been through the worst and most (sadly, I wish this wasn't true) so I'm more of a big sister to him even though he doesn't see it that way.. I DO.

How this is gonna end is she's gonna cheat on him or they decide the long distance isn't worth it. and if they last congrats I want grooms men but LOL.

~

I've got my own stuff with AJ and even though I'm distant toward how I feel, I can feel my feelings grow stronger and stronger. This really isn't a good thing at all.

I want to kill it however I can. burn them at the stake. Because I know I don't have a chance in the world.

I really should get to work on chemistry but I feel so bleh. :l I'm hot and cold and depressed and just.

Ew.

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