takes a bit more • matthew healy

xlix.) tired

a/n: this book is about to end i know ive said it about a hundred times im sorry its just that ive gotten so attached to this fic i cant seem to let go... but yeah lol finally

-

i wake up to an empty bed the next morning.

at this point it does not come off as a surprise anymore.

i shuffle to the toilet to fix myself from all the crying i had done last night. crying and crying.

with all the unfortunate things that has happened to my life i'm starting to think i was born to cry and be sad, honestly. my eyes are all puffy and red and i have seem to be paler than before, if that's actually possible.

"hey rhian, are you coming to—" ross abruptly enters in the middle of me staring blankly at the mirror. "oh. shit. hey, you alright?"

he doesn't have to ask that, does he?

because now i'm crying again, and ross pulls me closer to his chest which is quite convenient and awkward considering he's very tall and between him and the boys it's him i'm not quite close with. and i'm so fucking useless. and shit.

"is this about matty going to rehab?" he asks.

i sniff. "it's... complicated."

it's all it is.

"oh." ross says quietly, his fingers buried deep in my hair. "i'm not quite good at making anyone feel better, rhian, but... would you like to go have lunch?"

i sigh. "yeah."

"okay." he pulls me for a brief awkward embrace. "great. me and adam are starving. you probably are, too. you look terrible, rhian. did you even sleep last night?

—

the 1975 will be taking a short break in the next couple of months. upcoming UK tour dates mentioned in the website are put on hold until further notice. meanwhile, ticket refunds are in order and will be done from the point of purchase. we apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused.

// L O V E //

"what a fucking heartbreaking email, yeah?" adam says after awhile. he had given me his laptop so i could read the email they had just sent out to fans.

i frown, staring at the black and white rectangle box making up adam's wallpaper. "twitter's gonna be a fucking mess when they see this."

i want to tell adam that i probably have gone to have quite a few haters online for being matty's girlfriend, but i don't think he cares.

and matty has been gone for quite a while since this morning. he doesn't care about me, either.

"where's matty?" i ask quietly.

adam looks up from his laptop. "i dunno. he didn't tell you?"

i shake my head.

what a fucking relationship, huh.

"he just might be smoking." he says. i really don't believe him but i just keep quiet.

—

i can tell he's falling out of love for me.

what a fucking stupid thing to think about right now, now that he's packing up his clothes for a month away in rehab.