takes a bit more • matthew healy

xxxiii.) yellow

it feels odd waking up in an unfamiliarly comfortable bed late in the afternoon, without anyone trying to bother you with soundcheck plans and cigarette for breakfast.

where you can bury yourself underneath the pillows and just allow yourself to continue on with your dream.

however that's all i want this to be. a dream. but it's actually a continuation of my pathetic real life, so that's quite unfortunate.

matty and i had slept together on the phone, which probably fucked up his phone bill, but he had passed out mid-conversation, so that's entirely his fault really.

i had woken up to the sound of george at the other line, telling matty to wake up and to sleep in his own place, not on a "bloody beanbag". he had hung up, grunting, after that. i haven't got to greet him a good morning.

not like it's actually a good one for me, frankly.

my room in here is filled with plants—tons of them. i had heard eunice talk about it on the way here last night. "don't expect too much," she had said, "but it's quite a cozy place. an indoor garden if you will."

the walls in here are painted mustard yellow, and the sunlight is shining through the windows and creating art on my sheets.

i go downstairs for some late breakfast. i have not changed my clothes since last night, so i still smell a bit of alcohol, nicotine, and faint scent of matty's perfume.

i miss matty. god.

i hate how i can't stay mad at him. hurt, probably—he literally handed me over to my stranger of a sister without my consent—but i can never stay mad. just a bit hurt.

i see my sister in the dining area once i enter the room. mug of coffee in hand, going through her phone. she had adjusted quite well to me being in her house; not only did she prepare all the linen and pillows for my room when we had arrived, (which is right next to her's and her boyfriend, whose name is troy and who has tousled brown hair and coffee-brown eyes) but she had also given me a "bit of allowance" to live off of while i'm staying.

i haven't really asked her about what she does for a living, because even as a sister i'm quite shy with asking people about money.

"well, aren't you an early bird." she looks up from her phone and smiles at me, perfect white teeth and all. "samantha? this is my sister, rhiannon."

my sister is one of the four members in the house which they're currently paying rent for. aside from her and her boyfriend, she had told me last night that the other two are samantha and william.

"hey." samantha nods at me, looking up from her laptop. she looks older than me, the same age as matty, i presume. and she has red-colored hair, too vibrant to be natural.

she had recognized me last night when i came in.

in fact, she came into my room while i had been setting up my clothes in the closet. "aren't you matty's girlfriend?" was the first thing she had asked, as she smoked a cigarette in my room.

"uhm." i had to make sure she wasn't onto something, but she did look terribly intimidating. "i suppose, yeah."

"cool." she had sat down on my bed. still smoking. "i was just making sure. eunice never told us anything about bringing you here."

"oh. i'm—i'm her sister, that's why, i guess."

samantha—with extremely dark red lips—continued to smoke. "so, what's matty like?" she started.

she had stayed in my room for a complete hour, just talking to me about the band and how much she loves matty, "not on a personal level, though, 'cause you're his girlfriend and that just blows it off. as an artist." it's quite unnerving to say the least, listening to someone talk to people you know like that; she's attractive. pretty much so. i kind of know matty would hit on her the moment he lays his eyes on her.