takes a bit more • matthew healy

xiv.) manchester

it's too early and cold in the morning to be taking a train ride to manchester.

i'm fucking tired, and all i want to do is go back to bed with rhiannon at this point.

she has not uttered a single word when we had left alice's flat together with her backpack that is awfully hurting my shoulders with its weight.

she did not even talk to me when we had taken a cab to take us to the train station.

she was extremely quiet and it was killing me, really.

now we're on the sidewalk, and she's been staring at my cigarette as i'm having a quick smoke before the train arrives. she hasn't even finished the cheap coffee i had bought her at some shitty vending machine a few minutes back, but i can't blame her. cheap coffee tastes shit.

"you stare at my mouth but you couldn't look me in the eye, rhiannon, what's the matter?" i mutter, looking at her brown eyes that are shifting from left to right. i also notice she's cold, judging from the slight pink on her cheeks and her rather chapped lips. i could do something about that, frankly, if only she'd let me.

rhiannon looks at me this time, and i catch her gaze for a moment before she looks away. "i'm just... scared, is all."

i take another drag, not knowing what to say to give her a little comfort. i fucking hate myself most times.

"can i?" she suddenly asks, gesturing to the cigarette in my mouth. i give it to her in a heartbeat, watching as she inhales the smoke and blows it out. she sighs bitterly. "this fucking kills, you know."

"and who the fuck said i'm trying to stay alive?" i smirk. she rolls her eyes at that.

it's too fucking early to be smoking whilst waiting for a train to fucking come. hell, it's too early for everything, really. i'm quite sure rhiannon feels the same way, just by looking at her pretty face as she takes a rather desperate drag from my cigarette.

something in my insides melt when she smiles at me. "you look cute in your black sweater."

i smirk. "and what is that supposed to mean, love?"

"it's just... different. you look milder and not intimidating." she giggles. "i did say you looked quite intimidating when i met you on the train?"

"it's getting to me." i smile at her. "you find it fucked up, yeah? you had just met me, and you find me intimidating and now we're technically running away together..."

"there's no one i would want to run away with aside from you, matthew."

fuck, it sounded cliché but i can't believe i'm blushing.

"really?" i tease.

"yeah." rhiannon smiles, and it's the kind of smile where she has her eyes closed, and she's showing her perfect teeth, and she's looking absolutely cute that i would definitely want to run away with her already, just not with my fucking band or with anyone else, really.

i take the cigarette from her fingers and put them in my mouth as i say, "would it hurt if i say i would fancy running away with you as well?"

it's her who blushes this time around. "really?"

i feel like i'm about to ruin her life.