takes a bit more • matthew healy

x.) coffee

i had woken up to numerous phone calls, but my itinerary had not been to reply to any of them. first i had to pay for my night's stay (to a woman who looks a tad bit friendlier than the one the night before), and then i had walked to the nearest coffee shop to get something in my system that didn't have "nicotine" or "alcohol". hell, i hadn't cared that it was late in the afternoon.

the place was playing awful jazz music, i know because i have been interested in such genre for months now, but i try not to care as i order a typical mug of black coffee. the girl behind the counter has awfully snow-white perfect teeth, and i find it too early for her to be wearing such bright red lipstick.

i look at her again for a moment just when i'm about to pay, and i notice she has been paying much attention to me than anyone else.

well, typical girls. but still. "do i not look normal to you?" i ask, pointing to myself.

i see her furrow her made-up eyebrows. "excuse me?"

"you're staring at me." i scoff. "i find it quite offensive."

girl behind the counter rolls her eyes. "i see you've forgotten who you are, yeah?" she chuckles. "matty healy. right in the flesh."

i know i'm holding up the line, but there's something about this girl that makes me feel like i had done something to her. "you don't sound too friendly, erm—"

"alice." she nods, bringing out her manicured right hand. i don't take it, so she puts it back. she nods in agreement. "right, i see you're quite the pop star you mentioned you wouldn't become. you're holding up the line, mr. healy. i suppose you'd like to stand aside?"

the point is, i'm not in the fucking mood, and so is this girl, obviously, but for fuck's sake i did not come to london all the way from manchester just to embarrass myself for the second time in a day. instead, i give alice a look that obviously says i'm not done with your shit, then i proceed to sit on a lone table at the far back of the café mainly to isolate myself as i wait for my coffee.

soon enough, that alice chick comes by my table with the coffee i had ordered. i'm about to open my mouth, to tell her off, but she immediately sits right across me and says the words, "how dare you do that to my friend rhiannon."

i almost spill my drink. "you know rhiannon?"

"alright, healy, i'm only given three minutes of my break to speak to you, so shut up." she goes on. "i don't give a fuck if you're some sort of famous artist. hell, i love your fucking band and your music is my fucking soundtrack and all, but fucking hell, matthew." alice slams the small round mahogany table with her fist. "i don't like you as a person. come to think of it, i don't like you at all!"

i try to respond to her insults about me and her lack of respect to a fucking customer, but the only thing in my mind as of the moment is rhiannon. "how well do you know rhiannon? do you know where she's staying?"

"more than you know, asshole." she snaps. "she's staying at my place, after you single-handedly ruined her life by letting those photos leak on the internet."

"for starters, i did not leak those photos on the internet. someone else did." i defend. "i don't have the audacity to do that to anyone, not even all the girls i hooked up with."

"yeah? so she's one of your hook up girls, isn't she?" alice presses on. "now she's miserable because of you. you literally just picked her up and played with her until you got tired, is that it? and not only that... you had to announce to the entire world that you're planning to make her your girlfriend. are you fucking mad? is that some sort of game you play to make your image look fucking neat?"