With and Without You (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Jordan is shocked. He can't believe what he's looking at. "What the fuck is going on?" Vivian wakes up wondering why Jordan is yelling. She opens her eyes, how is he over by the door when he was just laying in bed with me? She thinks to herself. She sees him by the bedroom door, but can feel his arm wrapped around her, his body pressing against her back. She looks from the Jordan by the door, then sits up to look at the Jordan in bed with her. Her eyes grow wide and she gasps when she sees Donnie laying next to her, naked and wrapped around her. She's also naked. "What the fuck" she says to herself. She's trying to figure out what is going on. She remembers Jordan coming home the night before and sliding into bed with her. She vividly remembers him fucking her and giving her the best orgasm she's ever felt. But it wasn't Jordan in bed now, it was Donnie. Her mistake begins to register in her mind.

Jordan takes in her appearance, her naked body, her underwear discarded at the foot of the bed, her beautiful dress in a heap on the floor. She jumps out of bed, she rushes to Jordan. Jordan turns and walks away. He storms down the hall and into his room. She feels confused, she was sure she had gone into Jordan's room when she undressed for bed. He sits on his bed. She closes the door behind her. "Oh my God, Jordan I don't know what happened.  Last night we came here after we left the wedding. I wanted to wait here for you to come home. I went to bed to wait for you, I thought I was in your room, in your bed. Then I woke up, thinking you crawled into bed with me. I did not intentionally go to bed with Donnie. I was drunk and went into the wrong room. It was a stupid, drunken mistake. I'm so sorry."

"I could believe you just drunkenly went to sleep in the wrong room, but how could you accidentally fuck him and think it's me? I know he and I are nothing alike. We aren't built alike and we certainly don't fuck alike. So I've been told. So I'm not buying you thought he was me. I think you're mad I'm leaving and got upset that I sent you home last night so your punishing me by fucking my best friend. How could you do this to me Viv? How could you do this to us?"

"I didn't mean to do anything. This wasn't intentional. Jordan you have to believe me, I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I'm so sorry Jordan, please you have to believe me. I didn't mean to. I love you so much. Please, Jordan." She is wrapped in Donnie's sheet. Jordan can't stand looking at her. He feels sick. Just last night he talked about wanting to marry her someday. Now she's naked,  wrapped in his best friend's bedsheet, and he can smell the sex on her.

She takes a step towards him. He puts his hand up stopping her, "Vivian, I can't even look at you right now. Honestly you make me fucking sick. You smell like Donnie and sex. Right now I feel like I might hate you. Even though I love you so fucking much, I think I might also hate you. I can feel my heart breaking, and I never thought you'd make me feel this way. And I really can't stand being near you right now. I've got two hours to get ready to leave for California. I can't do this with you right now."

"Jordan, we have to fix this before you leave. You have to believe me, I'd never do anything to hurt you. I made a mistake. Please Jordan, look at me. Please..."she kneels down in front of him, taking his hands in her. He begins to give in, then he looks at her. He sees her appearance again, then yanks his hands away from hers and stands up to get away from her. "Don't fucking touch me. You make me sick. I don't want to even look at you. Get the fuck out of my house." She just looks at him. She doesn't move. He needs her to leave.  He needs to be alone right now. This is killing him, he's getting desperate. He's about to lose it, he can't cry in front of her. She needs to leave. Now. "I'm not playing, you need to get the fuck out of my sight. I have nothing more to say to you, so take your cheating ass out of here. Maybe your ex was right. You're just a fucking whore. I don't want to date a whore. So get the fuck out. I guess you can go back to Donnie's bed. But get the fuck out of my sight, I don't want to look at you anymore." She can't believe he's saying this to her. What has she done? She's ruined everything. She's lost him. She leaves his room, he slams the door behind her.

She walks back into Donnie's room to get her clothes and purse. He's sitting up in his bed. Her eyes meet his, "Donnie what happened last night?" He looks at her, sadness in his eyes, "I was so drunk, but honestly I thought you were Angie. We had a huge fight the other day, I thought she had snuck into my bed while I was at the wedding. She's done that before. I wasn't even thinking it was you. I'm so sorry Viv. Please know I didn't know it was you. If I remember correctly we never were face to face. And I don't think we ever spoke. I also remember it being the best sex I've ever had in my life. Which isn't even important, just trying to lighten the situation." She attempts a smile, but it falls short. "He hates me now Donnie, what am I going to do? I moved all the way to Boston to be with him, now he hates me. I can't stay here if we're not together." Donnie frowns, "Whoa, don't do anything crazy just yet. Give him some time. He'll come around, right now he's just hurt and needs time to see that you would never sleep with me on purpose. To see you'd never do anything to hurt him. In time he'll see how much you love him and he'll come running back to you."

She prays he's right. All she can do is wait though. Donnie loans her some clothes and takes her back to the dorm. When he gets back Jordan is gone.

Jordan sits at the airport waiting to leave this hell he's found himself in. How did his life get so fucked up. Last night he was so happy, thinking about the day he'd marry Vivian. This morning he finds her in bed with his best friend. God, he'd said some horrible things to her, he'd called her a whore. He'd told her he hated her and that she made him sick. Oh no, he needs to call her, make it right. No, I can't, not yet. I need to think about it. Make her wait for him.  He hoped she'd wait. He needed time. Deep down he believes her story, he believes she didn't mean to have sex with Donnie, she was drunk and thought it was him. Jordan knows he was her first, he knows she waited to have sex, why would she suddenly decide casual sex was for her. He'd take care of his business in California then call her. Or go home and fix it. She'd be back in school when he got back. He'd see her then and they'd fix everything.  If he could wait that long. She was his soulmate, the love of his life, his one and only.  But right now, his heart was broken. If she truly did love him and had made a mistake she'd wait two months for him.