Chapter Twenty-Two

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Lily slowly sat up, looking around for that pad of paper and something to write with. When she found it, she grabbed it and leaned against the headboard. Jackson seemed surprised that she had a reaction to what he had said. Lily didn't know how long ago it had been, but she was paying attention to him. She always did, even when she didn't want to. She was about to start writing and she felt the bed dip as Jackson crawled across it to sit next to her. Instead she changed her mind and took a deep breath. Writing was getting too complicated, "I'm sorry I put you through all of this." Lily's voice was weak and kind of patchy and rough as she hadn't used it in so long.

At first, Jackson was shocked that his mate had spoken to him. She'd never done that before. He smiled as he realized that his mate finally trusted him enough to use her voice. But then what she said had registered and his smile fell a bit. "No. Don't do that. You have nothing to apologize for," he told her.

Lily smiled sadly, "you know, I had a plan? I knew that he wouldn't be happy that I had been away for so long, whether he knew about me being taken away or not. I knew that he would come looking for me. So, I was going to stay here just until she was born. She wouldn't have been safe any longer. I was going to convince Adrienne to take care of her so I could go back home. I knew she would do it, because she knows what it was like. All that mattered was that my baby was safe." Lily swiped her tears away before continuing, "I could get through my days knowing that. Knowing that I was there to protect her, like a mother should. I called it Operation Maisie."

Jackson's eyes widened when he heard Lily say that. She hadn't told him that she had named her. He didn't think she had told anyone; Lily kept that to herself. And she was suffering more because of it. Because no one else understood the pain of losing a child. It made a huge difference, and Jackson knew that, "I'm so sorry, Lily. I should have—"

She stopped him in his tracks and told him, "this wasn't your fault." Lily looked up at him, waiting for him to respond. He sat there a moment, seemingly conflicted. Like he wanted to tell her something, but he was fighting himself. What could he possibly want to tell me that would cause him to act like this? He saw Lily's confusion and told her he would tell her another time.

She nodded, then asked him, "can I tell you something?" After Jackson nodded, she continued. "After you left that day, I headed back here. But I heard something from downstairs. I went to see what was going on; I thought it had been you or your sister. Then I heard something like glass shattering. I was worried someone had gotten hurt and needed help. I thought maybe something happened to Adrienne. But I think everyone was fine, I don't think she had been hurt at all. When I made it down, there was this wolf thing there. I thought it was going to kill me, but it didn't. And I woke up chained to a chair. I was sure that I had imagined what I had seen. But then the day you found me, Carter changed into that same wolf thing. He hurt—" Lily stopped herself and fixed her phrasing, because Carter hadn't hurt her, "killed my Maisie."

Tears were running down Lily's face. Jackson knew that every time she thought about her daughter, she remembered what Carter did. He wrapped his arms around his mate to comfort her. He felt the tingles and warmth like he always had whenever they touched. He tried his hardest to think of something to say that might, even in the tiniest bit, make her feel better. "I want you to know that Mandy did everything she could. She did not want to give up on you or Maisie. She spent hours trying to save her. We're all so sorry that this happened. You don't deserve it, any of it."

Lily wanted to push Jackson away, but he was actual helping her to calm down. It also helped a little bit; to know that someone had fought for her. They sat there, silent for a few minutes before Lily spoke again, "you probably think I'm insane." Jackson just shook his head. Which confirmed Lily's suspicions. He knew something about this. He had to. Any normal person would have laughed at her and called her crazy. "How? How did Carter do that? Turn into that wolf thing?"

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