✓ | ALIVE, quil ateara

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

Nobody said a single word. Not Joy, not Old Quil; and not any of the boys and their imprints. It was most likely, the most grateful thing Quil had considered. Since the day of losing Zahra, Quil could definitely feel the empty void that took over.

He now truly understood what it meant when you lose a soulmate. He was not confident of it ever going away, but he still chose to go each day even if it hurt. The first few weeks was the hardest, especially to Joy and Old Quil.

Each night for every single day of those weeks, Quil would have nightmares. His screams would fill the air and Joy had sat outside his door silently crying for her son.

If things were different, and Quil wasn't a shapeshifter; she would have been in his bedroom comforting him. However, with the strict rules of safety from not only Sam but the elders; it was not safe for Joy to be around him.

The number of times Quil had phased, had slowly been lowering. Despite there still being rogue vampires and the Cullens, his natural instincts to shift was unstable. Old Quil had suspected that it was because his wolf was in grief and probably will be in that stage for a very long time.

Though, he would never fully know or understand, since the previous generation that last phased; were all no longer around. None of them left the details of what happened when you lost a soulmate-except for the Legends they told to their children.

The first month had passed, and Quil had started to improve, but his phasing was still unstable. So, whenever they gathered at Emily and Sam's, the food was usually served outside; prepared on a makeshift table the boys had built.

None of them was happy with the arrangements, knowing it was outing Quil, but-it deemed to be for the safe route.

The second month, Quil no longer had night terrors-it stopped when he finally sat down and talked with his mom.

The night he had returned from patrol, he ended up going straight home-instead of meeting at Sam's and decided to ask his mom for advice.

"How do you do it?" Quil sat on the wooden stairs of his front porch as his mom was lounged on the patio seating," How were you able to go each day, after...Dad died?"

Joy closed her eyes leaning on the chair and let out a breath," It was not easy...the first few years, I was a wreck. I hardly went out and spoke to anyone, except for you" She then chuckled leaning forward on the chair," You were only 2 years old, but you were a chatterbox"

Quil felt his lips lift slightly at her words, trying to picture his mother's memory.

"It won't be easy, son, but I think you are doing fine. Sometimes there are days it'll feel even worse, but again remember that you have your brothers, grandpa and I. We'll be here every step of the way"

"How did you sleep?" Quil turned on the wooden stairs facing his mother's direction," Is there a way to stop the nightmares?"

Joy nodded clasping her hands on her knees," Just remember all the memories. Zahra may no longer be here, but she is still alive in our hearts"

Quil closed his eyes pushing away the pain that once again formed whenever the mention of Zahra no longer being around was said. However, the pain was not as strong as before, and he knew it'd get easier-even if he didn't want it.

He wanted the pain to remind him that it was all real.

That Zahra was real, and the pain reminded him that despite it being only a short time. He was hopelessly in love with the little mermaid.

Months passed, and it was finally time for school again. The boys were all seniors and the pack had two new members-and the council lost one of their elders.

All the changes had given Quil a new strength to keep moving forward.