your eyes ~ RUEL FAN FIC ~

Ruel's POV

I feel her weight leave the bed, the door close and open my eyes slowly. I feel guilty for wondering what she was thinking.

My phone is still safely locked in my hand, knowing if someone calls and I don't answer it could mean trouble. Just then it buzzes; I lift it out from under the sheets and see 'NATE FLAGRANT' flashing on the screen. 

Almost the second I press the answer button he explodes with words. I'm worried he's angry until I start to make sense of the meaning.

"Ruel! Wonderful news! We're flying you to Asia in a month, got some places booked, interviews! Everything's sorted! New songs are ready, click a button and I can release them right now!"

"No... thanks."

"Why not?! This is wonderful! Things are going right!"

"Maybe tomorrow or something."

"You ok?"

"Yeah... fine."

"Ok, well I'll see you later."

Secretly I do not have any intention of seeing him until we leave for this spontaneous Asia trip.

I sit up and stretch. Peeks of afternoon sun are edging around the blinds so I fling them open flooding the room with a golden glow. I pull on a shirt and go out of my room downstairs.

"Hey sleepy." Says Coco, not looking up from the magazine she's reading. 

"Wheres Alira?" I ask a little too innocently.

"Trying on her gown for you. To see if you like it."

"Why does she need my approval?"

"She doesn't. We already brought it. Try and be nice to her for a long period of time, that would be a first for you two with your on and off."

I don't reply because I know she's right.

A door opens upstairs and something drags over the carpet. Alira comes around the corner of the balustrade with a deep teal dress hitched up to her shoulders almost. 

"Ugh!" She groans, kicking a pleat out of the way of her heel. "This sucks."

I hurry forward up the stairs and pass her to grab the fabric from the back. I've seen people do it before but it never looked this heavy. If I hold about a foot of the silk she can walk normally.

Her grimace turns to a smile as Coco and Sylvie give a little clap and laugh.

When we get to the bottom I let go of the fabric and she turns slowly. I'm no expert in dresses but I guess she looks pretty nice.

"What do you think of it, Ruel?" Sylvie asks pointedly.

"I... I think you're gorgeous." It's a bit of a stretch but Cleary the exaggeration pleases both Alira and Sylvie. 

After many hushed compliments from them, Coco and Sylvie hurry off to do who knows what and I'm left in the large living room with just Alira. She's fixing her hair in the sideboard mirror and I stand awkwardly leaning on the couch, hands in pockets.

"You do look nice, you know." I say matter of factly.

"I know." She doesn't turn round. I smirk. "Why do you want me to come with you anyways?"

"Well, do you not want to come."

"No. I do. I just wanted to know why you chose me instead of... of that girl."

"Which one?" I mutter fiercely. 

She hears what I thought was a quiet statement and spins round, the teal folds gracefully drifting across the floor in a manner quite different to her fiery state.

"See?! I'm disposable! You don't need me, not for anything! You said that this, all this, would stop! Why can't you be normal!?"

This hurts and I know she's right. I would survive fine without her. More than fine, it wouldn't be an issue.  But I can't really say that so I stand quietly, biting my lip.

"I'm right." She says quietly, echoing my thoughts. "I'll just... I'll go."

Then she turns and true to her word, walks out the front door. The image of a youngish girl storming down the street, hitching lengths of silk up to her knees, so out of place next to the evening beach goers.

"Alira, wait!" I run after her but she's gone pretty fast and is already halfway down the driveway.

I reach her and do something I really don't want to but will be the only way to stop her. Grab her hand and turn her around back to me. I don't let go of her hand and she looks at me.

"Why do you do this?" She just sounds weary now.

"Because I have to. It would be bad if I didn't."

"What am I to you?"

I sigh. What is she?

"I haven't worked that out yet. It's not a fair question to ask."

She yanks her hand out of my grip, brutally wipes it on her dress.

"Sometimes life isn't fair."

"Is that why I still can't have you?"

I didn't plan the words to come out and she didn't expect them. I see it in her sly, sad smile.

"You don't need me." She whispers. 

"No." I confirm. "But if you let me in maybe I would."

She almost laughs and then walks back up to the house, leaving me standing in a puddle of guilt and annoyance.

What is it with girls.