Don't Get Too Close (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Forty-Three: Toxic

Chapter Forty-three: Toxic
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A/N: I'm bout to be real with yall ok I love the new cover a lot like the old one was nice but it was so safe and basic and easy and I like this one bc it's dark and edgy and neato and idk I might touch it up a little but damn I'm feeling this let me know how ur feelin

o plus also i didn't think i was gonna update so quickly but ya here i am updating so quickly ok
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Song of the chapter:
Vesper's Goodbye by Nick Jonas & the Administration (OK THIS IS TGHE SADDEST FRIGGIN SONG I KNOW IM FALLING APART BYE)
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I was cold. My hands, my face, my arms, my legs, my heart: they were cold. I never thought in a million years that I would be the one to break the same girl's heart over and over, but there I was breaking Natalie's heart endlessly.

Maybe one day she would understand what my intentions were. I wasn't ending things with her because I didn't want her anymore or because there was no fire left in our relationship. I was ending things with her because I was no good for her. I was making things worse for her and as someone who cared about her more than life itself, it sucked.

After leaving Natalie's room, I was pretty sure Mark tried to capture my attention. I didn't know, though, because I was so numb. My mind and body weren't working together, causing me to black out. I didn't remember leaving the hospital, I didn't remember calling a cab home, I didn't remember the twenty minute drive, I didn't remember paying the cab driver. But once I was there standing in front of my house all alone with the cold 3AM air surrounding me, it hit me. It hit me harder than a train. It was all over and I would never be anything with Natalie ever again.

A blow to the chest. A punch to the stomach. A stab in the back. A shot to the head. None of those things even scratched the surface of what I was feeling, but it was like I was feeling all of them at once. And I cried. I stood in front of my house crying like a little kid who didn't get what he wanted, and in a way that kind of was the scenario. I was someone who didn't get what they wanted in the end: Natalie.

It seemed that life was never on my side. Not in that moment, not two weeks ago, not two months ago, or even two years ago. Everything would be okay for a little while but it would suddenly come crashing down. I would always have hope and try to fix everything, but it never worked. I was starting to question whether or not my trying was even worth it.

Eventually I made my way up my front steps, remembering that just hours before I was running up the stairs to prepare for my date with Natalie. I felt sick.

I pushed through my front door, seeing my mom at the kitchen counter on the phone. She was worried.

"Oh my god, he's here," she said, hanging up the phone. I was sure it was Mark on the other end, and she was probably asking him where I was and what was going on.

She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me. I slowly and hesitantly buried my face into her shoulder, continuing to cry.

"Justin, I'm so sorry," she murmured as she ran her hand up and down my back to soothe me.

"She almost killed herself, Mom," I sobbed.

She nodded. "I know," her voice was a whisper. "You did everything you could, okay?"

"No, I should have tried harder. I should have told someone that she wasn't okay, but I didn't and now look where she is!"

"Shh, it's okay," she squeezed me tighter. "You didn't want to abandon her trust. Even though it might have been better to tell someone, it's okay that you didn't. You showed her that she can trust you with anything."