Shattered Singer

Chapter 17

Dinner:Part 2
America POV:
Kriss isn't pregnant. I'm so relieved. I've been trying to not think about it. Knowing it was slowly killing me ever since I heard. But she's not. Thankfully, Kriss is not carrying Maxon's baby. Not yet at least, and for right now that's enough. Although the fact that might might have tried kills me. A knife stabbing me repeatedly.
Our waiter Phoebe comes back pushing a small cart with our food. She places everyone's food on the table. "Anything else?" We all look at each other looking for confirmation. "No that's all" Amberly says.
"Okay if you need anything let me know" With that, Phoebe leaves us to enjoy our dinner. Or at least try to. Since we got here I've been feeling tension with Maxon and I don't know what to do. Zach has also been texting me, asking if we can talk or meet up right now. All I've said is that I'm busy and can't at the moment. He hasn't given up yet, and has been spamming my phone. As well as fan tweets and fans tagging me in photos from this dinner. I think I know I'm here, they can stop telling me now. As soon as I saw the reporters here, I knew I'm going to be asked about this dinner in interviews for the next 3 months at least.
I decide I should start paying attention to the conversation and eat. I start listening but only pick at my chicken salad. I don't want to eat and get fat. Although it's only been a weekend it's felt like months. I've been so stressed I haven't been working out. Instead of hitting the gym I've been stress eating. As a so called 'celebrity' I can't loose my body and figure. I hate my way of thinking, but this is what I do now. And how I've become.
They've moved on from baby talk and are talking about the ball now. I'm still in shock about that whole situation. I have to spend a week at the palace, starting this Friday. An entire week. Just thinking about how that'll be makes me want to run away. I can feel Maxon's eyes looking at me constantly. I want to return his look but if I do I'll fall into those beautiful, chocolate brown eyes and never come out. Instead I check my phone.
My eyes nearly fall out of my head and face when I see my recent text. It's from Zach. He saw the pictures and knows where I am and with who. He's on his way. I feel my pulse quickening and feel the blood drain from my body. Oh no, what do I do. I grab my champagne glass and down the rest of whatever is left in the cup. I quickly refill and down the whole thing again.
"America are you okay?" Amberly asks sounding concerned.
"Perfect, Celeste will you come to the restroom with me?!" I know I sound panicked but I can't help it. Zach is about to be here and I don't know why but I have a bad feeling about it. "Sure, come on" I stand and basically drag Celeste. When we leave the main part of the restaurant she asks what's wrong in a low voice. All I can say is that I'll tell her in a moment. When we get inside I rush to check all the stalls before saying anything. "Okay Ames, will you  tell me what's wrong?!"
When I see no one else is in here I turn to her. "Lock the door" She does before facing me again. "Okay what?!!"
"Zach is coming"
"What? Why"
"He wants to talk to me"
"Okay, how is this bad, I mean it's not great but not awful, how does he even know where we are right now?"
"Everyone is taking pictures! Incase you haven't noticed"
"That's true, now explain why this is bad"
"I don't know but I have a bad feeling, and I don't want to talk to him after what happened earlier today"
"Yeah I get that, just don't stress we'll deal with him if he actually comes"
"Okay, thanks." We check ourselves in the mirror. I still look decent. We leave the restroom and make our way back to the table. Amberly turns to look at us while Kriss and Maxon continue their conversation. Ugh. They're so lovey dovey. I hate it, so much. With their stupid nicknames, 'honey' 'dear' and I've heard Kriss call him 'baby' it makes me want to throw up. More than I already do.
I specifically hate dear.
I turn to Maxon who is already looking at me. I want to say something, talk to him. But I don't know what. Although last night we had a moment, a talk with laughs and memories, things are still tense. I want him to be mine. To kiss his soft lips. I like him, a lot. It's more than me liking him, but I cant admit it, not even to myself. I lov-no I just can't. He's married, I don't think there's anyway to be together. His lips part and he looks like he's about to say something. My phone rings and I tear my eyes from his. I check the message and my heart drops. "I'm here" Shit. It's Zach and he's here. I grab Celeste's arm, panicked. She immediately turns to face me. "He's here" I whisper. Her eyes get slightly wider and she whispers "it'll be okay, are you going to go talk to him?" As if I truly had a choice. If I don't go down he'll come up and cause a scene. There are to many people here and too many reports. Besides I don't want him to get hurt, or Maxon. "I have to" Celeste only nods. She knows how hard this is for me. I turn to everyone else and stand. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment" I leave my clutch and coat, turning to leave. I hear Maxon ask where I'm going. His voice is so faint with my blood pounding in my head. Without answering I walk out the dinning area, and make my way down stairs. The actual restaurant is on the tired floor. My final steps are loud as they echo. Every possible scenario going through my head. I only pass a few people. I reach the door and I see Zach standing in the parking lot. I take in a deep breath as I open door. I walk out and the sound of my heels clicking and the door opening, catch Zach's attention. He turns to face me directly. I continue to make my way to him as if nothing bothered me. When inside I'm dying. He begins walking too. We stop wordlessly with a few feet in between us. I don't know what he has to say to me. But I have a few things to say. "Why are you here? Why did you come all this way? What's your goal with this little talk?!" I try not to shout. But my voice is risen, and definitely above my normal tone.
"Look don't be mad, calm down" Zach says using his hands. "Then answer" I state.
"I was going to ask you for breakfast tomorrow, so we could talk and maybe work things out," He took a short pause.
"But, when I saw the pictures and videos, jealously ate me up, I knew I had to see you right now, before he got to you, before-"
"Woah there Zach, do NOT act like you have a right to come invade MY PRIVACY, your not my boyfriend, I don't even know if we're friends and Maxon, he's just a friend, he hasn't hit on me-"
"Because his wife is here and-"
"EXACTLY! His WIFE!! Maxon is married!" No matter how many times I said it, that hurt. The fact that he's taken, it hurts me. Like nothing else could. I try to continue without breaking down, without crying.
"Besides," I say calmer, "This isn't about him this is about us"
"Right. America please please take me back, give us another shot" Zach pleads taking my hands in his. I take in a deep breath. Looking down at the floor, not meeting his eyes I answer. "I can't" I say weakly.
"America why not, is it because of-" Before he could finish that sentence I cut him off.
"It's because we want different things, you want kids I don't"
"Ames you told me you did want kids"
"But not right now, I'm 18! I do when I'm in my twenties, you might be a 20 year old but I'm not, I'm not ready to be pregnant, give birth, take care of a baby, potty train, help with homework, I want to live my life first. A life I never thought I could have, I want to travel and continue singing, one day I do want kids but not now, I'm not ready"
"I'll wait for you, as long as your by my side I can wait"
"Zach no, I'm not going to let you do that, I can't hold you back from something you want, for me" I walk around him, facing the building. He turns so he can face me, with his back to the restaurant.  "I want to wait for you, anything for you America, I love yo-" I cant and don't want him to finish that sentence. I run up to him and our bodies clash. I quickly place my hand over his mouth. Stopping him from completing that sentence. Our faces are so close. I can see the widow from the restaurant. Our table is in perfect view. They all sit talking and Maxon glances around every now and then. I close my eyes and whisper softly. Almost inaudible.
"Please don't Zach" I slowly lift my hand, resting it on his shoulder. "Don't"
"Why not America I do, I lov-"
"Don't! Zach please just, d-dont"
"America, why, what's wrong with me admitting how I feel?"
I take another deep breath. Trying to steady myself. Without thinking I look over at the window. Maxon turns at the same time and our eyes catch each other. He quickly picks up the scene and stiffness. His eyes never leaving me. For a moment I forgot where I was and with who. I got lost in those eyes.
"-rica, America" I blink a few times and turn my attention back to Zach.
"What happened? Why'd you space out?"
"I um-well I'm not- the thing is- I, uh-" I cant seem to find words. Zach turns to look at the window, searching for what distracted me. My eyes follow. Maxon looks more alert now, ready to go into motion. Zack quickly finds what he's looking for. He whips his face back to me and pushes me away. Rather aggressively. I stumble back, struggling to keep my balance.
"What the hell Zach!?"
"No! Don't 'what the hell Zach' me! Your a fucking liar!"
"What are you talking about!"
"You say you don't want to be with me because of babies, and kids, when in reality it's because of that, Prince" He throws his arm out in the direction of the window. Zach's anger quickly rises and it makes me uneasy.
"No, I didn't lie I-"
"It's true and you know it!"
"Look part of it is because I don't know where my feelings are but that's not all!!"
"See!"
"Shut up! That's not all and you know it you just can't except it!"
Zach walks closer to me. When his at arms length he pull me close to him. Our faces inches about. He holds me by my wrist, tightly. I lightly struggle, not wanting to hurt myself or stay in this position. For a slight moment I fear he'll leave bruises. That thought washes away when he speaks. Much more hushed than before.
"Look, you need to let him go, he doesn't love you if he did he would of chosen you when he had the chance, but did he? No. He didn't he chose Kriss. You not mean shit to him, he's made that clear but you refuse to believe it. Your still in love not seeing he doesn't fucking care about you! You need to stop being so stupid and let go"
Zach has never, ever been this way with me. He stabbed my heart.
"What the hell Zach" Is all I can say. Tears start forming quickly. I don't want to cry, god no. My head is on fire how could he be like this?
"Sorry, but I love you and I actually appreciate you, I-"
"No you don't" I say trying to be freed from his grasp.
"What-"
"If you loved me you wouldn't be doing this to me" I say almost breaking.
"I'm no-"
"Your hurting me Zach, how can't you see that, even if what you say is true, that hurts Zach it really does" One single tear runs down my face.
"America I'm s-"
"Just let me go" I say trying to free my wrists.
"Please just-"
"LET ME GO! I don't want to hear it!!!"
"America!" When he shouts I can't help close my eyes.
Another voice cuts in. "Let her go, now." Before I realize what's happening I fall to the floor, landing on my knees. I balance myself using my hands and look up. I see Maxon's arm around Zach's neck, pulling him back. I quickly stand but fall again. I look and find that one of my heels broke. Ugh. I slip them off and stand again. No matter how jerky and unlike himself Zach was I don't want him to die. Maxon has the power to do that. Both physically and authoritatively. I throw my heels aside and run up to them.
"Maxon! Don't kill him!"
"I think he should be hanged"
"Maxon! Please! I know he's been an asshole but please"
He turns to look at me and his eyes soften. "Please" I say calmer. I can tell he wants to please me and at the same time, beat his ass for how he treated me. It's a battle in his head. I step up to him and try separating them. I accidentally feel Maxon's muscles and my face flushes. Maxon relaxes and I pull them apart. Zach stumbles back gasping for air. I take a few steps back too. Zach turns to me. "Thanks Ames, I knew you still love me" I have to break eye contact.
"Look, I just didn't want to see you hurt, and don't take this the wrong way but don't call or text"
I walk away from both of them. What just happened. I hear them begin to talk but don't register what they say. My vision starts to get blurry. I walk down the street thoughtlessly. I walk without a destination. I have to many thoughts to focus on just one. So my mind goes blank. Im walking bare foot. I don't know how much time goes by when my feet hurt so bad I can't walk much more. I stop at a bench and take a seat.
I don't know what just happened in the last 30 minutes. I hug my legs and rest my head on my knees. I can feel my tears rising. Right now I just don't have it in me to cry. The time will come though, hopefully at home. I silently sit there without a thought. I'm not sure how much time went by before I heard the sound of footsteps coming my way. It couldn't of been more than 15 minutes. He comes to a stop about 3 feet away from me. He kneels down, and softly speaks. "Hey are you okay?" I shrug and look down.
"If I'm being honest, I don't know, so much just happened and I don't know what"
Maxon stands and takes a seat next to me. I don't want to talk about it. Not with him. I'll talk to Celeste and cry with her, but if any let Maxon see how I'm really breaking. His mouths opens to say something. I quickly stop him saying the first thing that comes to mind. "So how are you and Kriss?" I want to punch myself for saying that. Why did I have to say that. The only other thing I don't want to talk about is Kriss. I especially don't want to hear how in love they are, or how happy they are. They live the perfect life. Kriss is living the life that should of been mine. I can't even hate her for it, because it was all my fault. Not Kriss' or Maxon's, mine.
"Um we get along, she's a good friend"
Am I hearing things? Did he just call his wife a 'good friend.' A friend?! I don't even know what to say to that. I juts have to remain calm and collected. I look up at him. So I can see his face.
"Oh, I didn't know friends called each other 'baby' and got married" He slightly cringes at my words. Although he manages a small laugh.
"And I thought you supposed to love your wife" His words make me freeze. Does he not love her? But I thought-well I don't know. If he doesn't love her could he maybe, possibly love...
"Do you not?" As soon as I say those words out loud, I regret them. He doesn't have to tell me. I shouldn't have asked. Even if I want the answer more than anything.
"Oh uh, you didn't need to answer" He just chuckles.
"I know" I break eye contact and look down. I examine my nails for a few seconds. Maxon stops me by lifting my chin to his face with his index finger and thumb. I don't do anything. I don't say anything. My body becomes numb and I don't feel anything except Maxon's hand and presence.
"No I don't, someone else has my heart" I gulp not moving or saying anything. It takes all my energy to speak, and still it comes out as a whisper.
"Who?"
Maxon gently pulls my face closer to his and leans down. My heart starts beating like crazy. I wonder if he could hear it. My breath catches wondering what's next. Our faces millimeters apart. Lips millimeters apart. His eyes burning into mine. I feel his hot breath on mine. My body feels weak.
"You" He whispers.
"Me?" I whisper.
"Yes you, it's always been you, not a day has gone by that I don't think of you, miss you, and regret not choosing you"
My words are gone. What he just said are words I've dreamt about. Wished I heard. Now that I heard them, I've never been happier. His faces leans in closer. My eyes close, slowly. And I feel that his do too. I would of thought I'd be nervous, but my body knows how to respond to his perfectly. My hands fly up to his neck and I hold him to me. His free hands lands on my waist, pulling me in. Our lips connect and it's fireworks. Magical, wonderful, spectacular. There aren't enough words to describe it. The kiss is gentle and loving. I can feel his smile underneath and I'm sure I have one too.
For the first time in months I feel complete. My mind is full Maxon. Who's Kriss or Zach? I don't know. I only know Maxon.
The kiss turns from sweet and gentle to passionate and hungry for more. I pull his neck to me not letting go. His hand never drops from my waist. We have to pull apart for air. We pant heavily connecting our foreheads together. My lipstick is all over his mouth and I smile. Although Maxon still belongs to someone else, that band on his finger is quite the reminder, it feels like his mine.
"I have to get home" I say sadly. I don't want to end our time but I must.
"I'll drive you"
I open my mouth about to object but he cuts me off.
"Don't even try to say no, princes' orders" He says with a smirk.
If I wasn't so happy and tired I would of, but I just agreed without protesting. We walked to my car and climbed inside. Driving off together.

A/N ~ Ooooo long chapter! I'm sorry this is late but I hope it was worth the wait, so much drama and lots went down so comment your favorite part, and let me know what you think will happen next. Also If you have any ideas please let me know, I hope you enjoyed it, 3479 words!!!!
Xoxo ~ Mrs. Schreave 💋