The Devil Likes Lemon Cupcakes

The Devil And Immortality

                       »Compassion is not a relationship between

                                     the healer and the wounded.

                                It's a relationship between equals.

                         Only when we know our own darkness well

                       can we be present with the darkness of others.

                      Compassion becomes real when we recognize

                                           our shared humanity.«

                                               Pema Chodron

My black wings disappeared, but my eyes still remained the same shade of green as before, luminous like poison inflicted jewels.

It was explained to me that wings worked in the same manner like the fur of a feline; when threatened or stressed, the fur will stand out from the spine, - the response of the wings is quite similar, mainly automatic.

Much like my appearance, my thoughts started to change, as well.

Leave this place, leave him, you're free.

Taste your power. Drink it. Get to know what it feels like.

My own arrogance began to consume parts of me, and I would lie if I'd say I didn't like it. I would lie if I'd say the new thoughts didn't make sense. My mind was quite rational, more than ever before.

But Lucifer was laying there, all patched up, his wounds bleeding through the home-made bandages. As far as I knew, nothing looked infected, and the wounds were healing, but not as fast as I'd hoped. From time to time he would wake up and look at me. Our roles switched; he was the human, and I was the monster.

There was this thing, weighing on my mind; what about my family? All that is demonic, cannot be seen by mortals. Except when in human form. But was I, - could I be? And it was the question hardest to utter out loud.

»So?« I watched his facial expression as I asked. The week was almost over, and I will have to return back. Home.

Lucifer furrowed his brows, tugging on a giant splinter of wood, pulling himself in the sitting position. »They cannot see you, the way you are now,« he groaned in pain, and a bit of blood rushed through the patch on his shoulder. »I am sorry, but to the rest of the world, you are dead.«

My mind couldn't quite comprehend what exactly was Lucifer saying, but strangely, I stayed calm. »I am not dead. I mean, I was dead, but now I'm not. I think. It's not like I'm a zombie or a ghost,« there was this yearning for home inside of me, but there was also something else...something that wanted to leave everything. Everyone. Not caring. »I can just turn human, right?« I wasn't even sure anymore if the words I spoke and the desire I had to go home, was even my own anymore.

Lucifer turned his head away for a second, staring through the window, where the lonesome tree stood still for decades. »I do not know.«

»But I thought you said Archangels can – «

»Not all of us. Mihael and I, are one of the few with that ability. And even we had to develop that skill through centuries of training. It is like...trying to balance the light switch between on and off.« He said.

Trepidation took a hold of me for a little while; was I trapped in a body that wasn't quite my own anymore, for the rest of eternity? Was I not to be seen by anyone I loved ever again; only for me to see their lives, their deaths, and the lives and deaths of their children, and so on, until I perish into stardust once more?

I truly was cursed by the greatest gift mankind desired; immortality.

»But, I am not quite sure...« Lucifer spoke again, but I stopped listening.

I just observed the way his lips swayed when he talked, the way his wide jaw complimented high cheekbones, and those eyes that so often mesmerized me. All that, and yet, no blood rushed to my face. No rosiness painted my cheeks. He didn't change the rhythm of my heartbeat. And I had no desire to kiss him.

Was it all just a trick, before? Just a curse, maybe a spell that made me think that I loved the Devil? I mean, if you see it objectively, there was no reason why I would love him. Why I could love him.

He was the most feared man or deity in the History of mankind;

He was excessively arrogant and narcissistic;

He was a murderer and a liar;

He was the embodiment of Evil.

At least, that's what I was taught all of my life. Lucifer truly made some compelling arguments of his actual role in History, but the question was no longer if I believed him, it was, do I even care?

My gaze rested on that mahogany box, containing all of his wish-full thinking. All of his memories, desires...And I decided. I have decided to place my own heart into that box.

I had no need for it in this world of Shadows. He can keep it forever. I don't want it.

»Where are you going?« His now stronger voice, called from the damaged bed, as I walked towards the door.

I would be a liar if I said I answered. If I said I cared. I just walked away, with his screaming voice as my new soundtrack.

They say that falling in love is like falling off of a cliff; if you're lucky someone will catch you, if you're not you crash into a million pieces. Now, I had a different theory. You can Fall. You can be caught, and you can crash, but there is also the third option – you can spread your wings.

Author's note: Hi you guys! First - thank youuuu for all the Love, I truly, honestly appreciate it, it's nice to read a friendly comment after a rough day, you guys are my rock! And secondly - yes, I know things are getting darker, and that Lucija's character is changing, but the story isn't over yet, and there will also be a second, third, fourth book, because there is sooo much more about this story I need to tell you. <3