The Devil Likes Lemon Cupcakes

The Devil In Wonderland

                                         »A writer never has a vacation.

            For a writer, life consists of either writing or thinking about writing.«

                                                      Eugene Ionesco

My tries to run as fast as Luc fell flat; no matter how hard I tried, I just sucked at running. Not to mention that the gravel floor with tiny pebbles on it made it even harder. I was already out of breath and not even a minute has passed since the attack of a giant frog monster. I can't believe how ridiculous that sentence sounds.

»Why...« I took a deep breath after we hid behind some huge trees. »...do...« I took another deep breath. »...we have to...« I was almost hyperventilating. »run?« I bent my head towards my shaking knees and tried to calm the burning sensation in my lungs. »I thought you're like – invincible, super monster of all monsters, and all that shit...« I swallowed the saliva that formed in my mouth.

»Well,« He didn't seem out of breath, just severely annoyed. »I am not at my full capacity here.«

»So, you're not all-mighty?« I mocked him.

He threw a dead glare at me.

»I mean,« I corrected myself. »it can kill you?«

»No.« He replied confidently. »But it can swallow me up, and trying to get out of its stomach can be quite a hassle.« He said, trying to sound utterly unruffled. »Besides, do you have any idea how hard is it to get Waneta goo out of your clothing?« He turned away from me and walked into unknown direction. »Not to mention the smell...« He mumbled to himself.

If my calculations were correct, he's been haunting Wanetas before. Or doing something similar. Every time we met, I learned something new about him, something absolutely bizarre. His personality and whole self was built out of so many things and memories, it was almost impossible to comprehend that so much can be in, or can be one person. But then again, he is thousands of years old.

»I thought you said Wanetas' were like guardians?«

»Yes.«

Man, I hate his short answers that aren't even answers. Merely replies. His manner of answering was on the same level as the one of a really shitty friend who always only texts 'Okay'.

»But that one tried to kill us...«

»You did not expect that all Wanetas' would protect you?« He didn't even bother to turn around.

»I'm not exactly an expert about them!« I finally cracked. »I don't know if they want to protect me, I don't know if they want to kill me, all I know is that I'm in a freakin' Wonderland with the Devil, who is as helpful as a screen door on a submarine!«

He finally turned around and walked over with a calm expression on his face. He stared into my eyes, as if he were going to say something reassuring. »Do not make me kiss you again.«

If any man was capable of making that sentence sound like a threat, it was him.

I sighed and dragged myself after him. We were walking through this weird looking swamp, filled with overgrown grass, mud-holes and spider-webs, and the whole thing smelled like rotten eggs. Luc responded to the labyrinth-like-swamp with an occasional wordless grunt.

»Waneta is unique to each person.« He broke his silence. »You could say that they are a reflection of one's spirit, soul even.«

Encouraged, I responded with a chirpier attitude. »Do you have one?«