guilt | kihyuk

October 15th, 2016

Kihyun put on his jacket and heard the front door being closed. Minhyuk had left. The man sighed and grabbed his keys before leaving the house as well. On the way to the group meeting Kihyun stopped at the red light and turned to see that on the car next to his was Minhyuk, the two exchanged a glance before Kihyun turned his head back to the road. He wanted to get out of that damn car and tell Minhyuk that he still loves and wants him but he could not. He felt as if Minhyuk despised him now, the way he heard Min cry every night was good enough of a proof of him hating Kihyun.
But not looking at Minhyuk anymore, Kihyun didn't see Min's expression turning from surprised to devastated.

Eventually everyone got to the studio for the group meeting. Minhyuk arrived last, quite late which surprised Kihyun since they drove at the same pace. All were having a normal discussion until Minhyuk showed up. "Min!" Jooheon said before running to hug the man who had red eyes. Kihyun looked away, his jealousy getting the best of himself.

All sat on the floor and before anyone else spoke up Minhyuk got up to speak.
"Guys. I have been thinking a lot about my situation these days and I made a decision." Minhyuk stopped a second, he looked overwhelmed. Hoseok got up as well and patted his arm to calm him down. Kihyun looked away once again.
"I have decided to leave the group. Just so you know I am so happy to have been able to live my dream with you guys. I will always love you. I really hope you will go far in the industry and I will definitely support you." Minhyuk said crying, all were crying except for Kihyun who was looking away. "Why?" Changkyun asked throwing himself at Minhyuk, crying at the man's neck. "I need to start fresh. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I will move out soon." Minhyuk forced a weak smile. Kihyun did not move nor say anything although he wanted to scream and tell Minhyuk to stay, everyone else in this room was waiting for him to say it. On top of that he will move out from their house. Kihyun battled within himself not to cry. Kihyun wanted to say so many things that nothing came out of his mouth.

Minhyuk stayed some more minutes saying goodbye to his friends before leaving. He often would look at Kihyun only to see the man look away from him, as if he did not care. That made Minhyuk's heart ache even more but at least now he knew that the man did not want him anymore.

When Minhyuk left the five boys turned to Kihyun and for a good hour they lectured him, saying things they regretted immediately. Kihyun let them speak after all he deserved it all.

Later, when everyone had left, Kihyun sat in the studio and finally allowed himself to let go. That night Kihyun stayed over by the studio, crying his whole heart, breaking things.