You're The One

Chapter 30

Raven

Life isn't great right now. Well, really, it is. For everyone else. 

Lexa and Clarke are thriving with Seren. She's beautiful and she's becoming more like them everyday. The clans are doing well, and bouncing back from the famine. Lexa, despite her new motherly compassion, is still revered as one of the best Hedas of all time. There is nothing but respect for her, and Clarke. 

Octavia and Lincoln, though it took them a while, came around to the idea of having two babies so unexpectedly. They had no choice, really. And now they were excited, waiting for their two little bundles of joy. 

Even Bellamy loved watching his sister find happiness. He saw her all of the time and he was already spoiling his unborn nieces or nephews. Their relationship only grew stronger. 

Life was continuing. But mine didn't seem to be.

I'm stuck in bed most days—doctor's orders. Bellamy spends most of the day with me, though it seems like he's walking on eggshells around me. 

One evening I was sitting on the couch, staring out the balcony, when Bellamy entered. I looked over.

"Hey....I'm sorry I've been gone for so long." He said, sitting on the chair opposite of me. I looked at him, my brow furrowing. 

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well..." he was at a loss for words. "I just thought you needed me around."

I smiled softly. I reached forward and took his hand in mind. "I always love having you around. I want you around, and sometimes I do need you. But never so much that you have to be here the whole day, and ignore the rest of your life."

"But—" 

"Hold on." I said, pulling myself upright. "Do you think I'm dying? Because you act like I am."

Hurt flashed across his eyes. "I...I don't know." He answered honestly. "I don't know how to deal with this. And I don't know what to say to you."

I smiled. "Nothing has changed between us. I know sometimes I'm not my usual self but you never had to change how you acted around me in order to make me feel better. The best way to make me feel better is to act as though nothing as changed."

He stood and I spotted clenched fists at his side. 

"But things have changed!" He yelled. "We still don't really know if you're not going to die, now do we?"

I paused. I didn't expect this outburst. And every ounce of me wanted to stand up and yell back at him, but I couldn't muster up the strength. One day I would return the favor. "No." I murmured. 

"How am I supposed to deal with the idea that you might die, while acting like nothing has changed? How am I supposed to treat our happy, fun loving relationship when it suddenly has been clouded by this?" 

"I know its been hard..." I started. I didn't know where I was going with that. I was hoping I would find it along the way. I never did learn to think before I spoke. 

He stared at me a moment longer, tears starting to well up in his eyes before he sat back down and covered his face with his hands. 

"I don't think you know how hard it's been." He said. I almost got mad but then he kept speaking. "I know the first few weeks after you arrived on Earth were a little...rough." He said with a laugh. "But I began to depend on you. Clarke and Finn—they made bold decisions with their heart. But you and I—we were always the sane leaders of the group." He chuckled again. "We made calculated decisions with our heads. You were there for me, even if you didn't realize it." He paused a moment, taking a long look at me before continuing on with a deep breath. "When Finn died...you leaned on me. That meant a lot to me."

"My point being that....you've become my best friend. And I rely on you. I realized pretty soon after you arrived that the delinquents couldn't survive here without you. And that I couldn't. And even though we now have our own lavish room in the Commander's tower, and our friend is the Commander, and that there is peace between Arkadia and the clans, I still couldn't do this without you. Our lives have been tangled together and if you were no longer around..." he paused, wiping at a tear, "I don't know who I'd be."

I leaned forward, gripping onto both of his hands with mine. I stared into his eyes, though his eyes wavered from mine. 

"Look at me." I murmured. His eyes shot up to mine. "I know who you would be. You'd be the man who loves his sister and his friends with everything he has. Who loves his little niece fiercely. And would do anything, anything to protect them." I squeezed his hands harder. "I know you haven't always liked the man you see in the mirror and you've made mistakes you think you can't come back from, but you've always known to learn and move on. I'm not excusing what you've done in the past...but you're a different man now. And I have no doubt that that man would stick around even if I were to tragically perish and leave you all without the gift of my presence." I said with a wink. Bellamy chuckled softly through his tears. 

I picked up one of his hands and held it to my lips. Normally this was definitely not something I would do but this seemed necessary. 

"But you don't have to worry because I'm not going anywhere. Hell doesn't get me quite yet." I said, smiling. "And you know how stubborn I can be." I said, running my hand to the back of his head, where I played with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

"Oh, I know." He said, laughing again. This time there was no sign he had been crying. It was just pure laughter. He stood up and walked around, sitting down on the couch. I leaned my head against his shoulder, my back against his chest. 

"And Raven Reyes? Going to hell?" Bellamy scoffed. "Not if she has anything to say about it."

I smiled, closing my eyes and pulling myself deeper into his embrace.

Bellamy 

I woke up and the room was covered in darkness. Normally there would be an eeriness to it, but tonight, nothing felt like it could go wrong. So sitting there in the dark, I wasn't worried. 

I debated whether I should pick her up and move her to the bed. If I did, and she woke up, she would never stop complaining. But if I left her here, she would be complaining about back pain. And I'd rather take her complaining at me than her being in pain. 

I hoisted her up and was slightly taken aback by how heavy she was. I had lifted her plenty of times before but she had never felt like this. 

I put her down on the bed. She wasn't moving. I couldn't see her chest rising or falling with her breathing and she didn't move to make herself more comfortable on the bed. 

Remembering our last conversation, panic settled in me. I kept watching her, praying for some movement. And still there was nothing. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Although leave it to Raven to choose right after she said she wasn't going anywhere to die. 

"Raven." I said, gently trying to shake her awake. Still nothing. My muscles began to tense up, I couldn't breathe right...everything seemed fuzzy. "Raven, come on. Please." My voice was starting to crack, tears coming to my eyes. I had cried two damn times today now. All for this girl. 

"Raven." I snapped, giving a hard push. Her eyes flew open and she looked up at me. Tension flooded from me and I took a deep breath. 

"What?" She groaned, gripping onto a pillow.

I laughed. I knew she would be grumpy. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

She smiled softly. I didn't expect to see that. "Okay. Love you."

I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I love you, too."

I had just crawled into bed next to her when a sharp knock came at the door. I ran over, hoping to answer it before another knock came, potentially waking Raven. 

Standing on the other side was Lincoln, his eyes bright with excitement and fear. 

"They're coming."