You're The One

Chapter 12

Lexa

I found it hard to sleep that night. Not because of the usual nightmares and worries—but because I felt as if I couldn't sleep when she was right next to me. She wanted to be cared for, played with, fed, loved, and yet in the first few hours we had the baby, all we did was sleep. So the second the sun rose above the horizon, my feet touched the cold floor and padded over to her crib. I smiled when I saw she was an early riser, too, just like her new mom. Her blue eyes shined up at me, and I noted how they were similar to Clarke's. 

"Hello, yongon." I whispered, reaching in and picking her up. I felt a little selfish. Clarke hadn't been able to hold her yet since we got her back, and here I was snatching her back up. But looking back at Clarke's snoring form on the bed, I could see she was in no mood to rise with the child. 

I cradled the newborn in my arms and walked out of the small balcony, showing her her world. The way she would see it from now on, at least. 

"This will all be yours one day." I murmured, staring out at city, and then to the hills and past that—the ocean. Even as I spoke the words, I knew they'd be true. I would raise her to be a leader until I no longer could, and then the next commander would. 

I glanced back at Clarke. I knew she wouldn't want that. She wouldn't want her child to be in constant danger the way I am. She wouldn't want her to grow up in fear. But she was a natblida, already destined to have a very good chance to be the commander. I wouldn't deny her or my people this, and I hoped Clarke wouldn't stand in my way, either. 

"For now, you just have our hearts." I whispered. "And soon enough, you'll have the people's. But one day, you'll have their loyalty, too." 

At least, I hoped. 

I moved back into the room, going to the sofa where all of her stuff had been packed up after I placed her back in her crib. It was thrown together hastily, as it was very late at night when we left Selma and Sumter's home and I had a whiny baby in my arms. 

I started to unpack, folding the blankets and putting them in drawers. I had only bought one or two toys and very few other essentials, so I'd have to go back into the market soon to purchase more. 

Suddenly, a cry pierced through the room. Eyes wide, I looked to the babe. Wet tears streamed down her red face as she cried in agony. I ran over to her and tried to quiet her down, but nothing seemed to work. I hushed her, talked to her, rubbed her ears like dogs like, and yet her balling still echoed. 

I heard Clarke stir behind me. 

"What's going on?" She asked over the crying. 

"I don't know." I said, flustered. I handed the baby the toys, but she didn't take them. Clarke got out of bed and walked over, picking up the crying child. Her eyes widened when she did so. 

"She needs her diaper changed, Lexa." Clarke said. "And she's probably hungry, too." 

I sat back on the floor in defeat and pointed Clarke to the diapers. She disappeared into the bathroom. After a minute, she came back out and placed the baby back into the crib. She still seemed moody, but her crying had subsided. 

"Not even twenty-four hours and I'm already clueless." I murmured from the floor. Clarke looked down at me. 

"No." She murmured. "No. This is hard. I wouldn't have known how to do anything if I hadn't grown up on the Ark. Sometimes babies had to be checked out and other times I watched a few kids." She joined me on the floor. "It'll take time before we get the hang of things. We should probably realize that now."

I nodded. "How do we feed it?"

Clarke laughed quietly. "Goat's milk. Right?"

I nodded. I wasn't sure how I forgot that. "Right." I said, standing up. "Why don't we get her something to eat, then introduce her to her aunts and uncles?" I gave Clarke my hand, and she took it. I helped her to her feet. Clarke lifted the baby out of the crib, and we snuck down to the kitchen.