My name is Chris, and I'm the man who wrote a dumpster fire of a story. When I was sitting around watching Bleach I realized just how confusing Glynda truly was. Then I realized that it was far beyond fixing. This will be better than the original, i...
"Salem can I please leave this room? I promise I'll be good." I said, "Who said you couldn't leave your room darling?" Salem asked, "Lucy." I said, "Of course it was Lucy. Darling don't listen to her she's an idiot." She said, "Ok well I'm gonna go." I said as I started to walk away, suddenly a red dot appeared on the wall, "No (y/n)! We're not gonna fall for that again!" I said, sadly my resolve faded once the dot started moving. "I'M GONNA GET IT THIS TIME!" I shouted as I went after the dot. This went on for two hours. "STOP MOVING SO I CAN KILL YOU DOT!" I shouted as I jumped off the wall to chase after the dot, suddenly I landed face first in Salem's chest, "Well well aren't you a friendly kitty." She said seductively, "That was a dirty trick! A very effective one, but a dirty trick none the less." I said.
"Now if I were my weapons where would I be?" I asked myself, "Did you check my room yet?" Salem asked, "No they wouldn't be there that's too obvious." I said, "Well did you check the armory?" She asked, "No thanks for the suggestion." I said, "Wait." I said, "Or maybe I destroyed them." She said.
"Ok so new plan I'll tunnel out of my room and from there I'll make my way back home! It'll only take me six months and a lot of spoons." I said, "Or better idea I could just let you out the front door." Tyrian said, "Yeah let's do that." I said, "Also why are you helping me?" I asked, "To put it simply cause I don't like how friendly you and my mistress are." He said, "So it's better for you if I'm gone and out of the way." I said, "Exactly." He said as he opened the door, "Well I'm leaving!" I said, "Good and don't come back." He said as he slammed the door behind me. 'Rude.' I thought as I walked off.
I had made it out of the realm of darkness in less than an hour since I hitched a ride on a nevermore, I named him Grimmy. Sadly I had to put Grimmy down, and unfortunately, I landed on someone's car, "Oww...I should have killed Grimmy while I was on the ground!" I said, "Hey you ok?" A girl asked.
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"Yeah, I'll be fine in a bit." I said, "Good then you can..." She began to say, but I picked her up and ran clear of the car as the remnants of Grimmy fell onto it, "You ok?" I asked, "Y...Yeah, thank you." She said slightly blushing, "So what's your name?" I asked as I set her down, "I'm April, it's nice to meet you." She said, "A...April." I said in shock, "Yeah that's my name got a problem with it?" She said, "No sorry, my stepmom's name was April, but she passed away about fourteen years ago." I said, "Oh I'm (y/n) by the way." I said, "GET DOWN!" I shouted as I tackled her, "WHAT THE?!" She shouted suddenly the car exploded, "Thanks again, this is the second time you've saved my life today." She said, "It's not a problem I'm just doing what I do." I said, "Well then would you mind letting go of my boob?" She said, "I AM SO SORRY!" I shouted as I got off her, "It's fine, letting you get to second base is the least I can do for you since you saved my life, one more and we could go all the way." She joked, "Oh hey would wanna be my date to my sister's wedding?" She asked, "I know we barely know each other, but I sorta need a date since I broke up with my ex." She said, "Sure I'm not doing anything else today. Plus I wanna make sure that whoever put that bomb in your car is..." I said, "A bomb?" She said, "Yeah a bomb, cars don't just explode on their own. Now you could argue that the flue tank ruptured, sparked, and exploded, but then why didn't we smell any gas?" I said, "S...So I was almost murdered?!" She said in shock, "Yeah sure looks that way." I said, "Well I've got my big strong boy-toy to protect me." She said as she grabbed my hand, "Come on we only have three hours till the wedding!" She said as she dragged me off.
