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by xlilluv

by xlilluv

I go into my closet and pick out an outfit. Just a starwars shirt with a black and white striped shirt under it, black ripped jeans, a Gucci belt, and black vans. Nothing really "out there"
She walks into my house and immediately gives me a hug. We ran up to my room, lay down on the bed, and watch Netflix.
"God, you dress exactly like chase hudson. I'm pretty sure I've seen him wear that before." She blurted. "Oh? Well I'll take that as a complement since you find him attractive."
"Hey El?" "Yeah" "Can I tell you something and promise you won't tell anyone?" "Obviously!" I said. "Well... I think I might have a... little liking." "Who? Spit it out!" I interrupted her.
"A close friend of both of us" she smiled. "Pay?" I immediately guessed. She said nothing and blushed. "Omg, you two would be so damn cute together!" "El, get yourself together, let me talk." I zip my mouth shut. "I want to ask him out but, it scares me. What if we break up? We're probably not going to be friends anymore, we'll loose the group chat and me, you, and Pay will never talk to each other again. And I don't want that to happen El. I really like him, I do, but it's scary. Love is a scary thing especially when your best friends. I need your advice. I know I'm the one always giving you advice but I really need it. I can't loose him" Wow, that was a speech that shook me up. "Hey, girly, hubby, I always have your back. Even if you and pay do end up dating and break up, I will still love you both forever. But, I'm telling you now, that if you guys do break up, I will force you guys to be friends again because I don't want the same thing I did, you do. I made a mistake. A big mistake. Something I will never do ever again, I think. But I can't stand seeing you guys hurt. And I want what's best for you. And IF you want to ask him out, I suggest doing it at playlist because you can do it face to face which is always better than over text, and if he says yes then you guys can hang out together. It'll probably be the best time there." I confidently said. "Good advice, if I do ask him out I'll do it there, maybe sometime in the middle of the 2 weeks we're staying. But, do you think he likes me back?" "Hell yeah! His eyes light up and he blushes everytime you join the group chat call, he literally commented on your latest post beautiful with two hearts, I'm very sure he likes you av" "I don't know-" "stop, trust me, ok?"
"Ok, I don't know what I would do without you wifey. Hey, you know, that means you'll have to share a bed with chase if we do." Oh my god. I didn't even think of that. What if, what if, i catch feelings for him. I've never even talked or seen a picture of this guy, but I'm already preparing for that. Past really does mess with the future. "Avani, what if I catch feelings, you know how quick i do. I've never even seen a picture or talked to him, but you seem to think I'll like him and that makes me think of the worst. What if I do?" "Well, if you do, that's a sign of moving on. What happens happens. You can't control your feelings, El. If you end up liking him, go for it. No ones gonna stop you.i find it a good thing if you catch feelings. You'll be the happiest I've ever seen you, and I want you to be happy." At this moment my eyes pricked with tears. They eventually began roling down my check, but she caught them before they fell. "I guess, I mean, love is love right? But I don't think I'll ever be able to get over my ex." I said sadly. "You wont be able to, but it gets better. You'll know you've found the one once if you've started feeling comfortable with them even after what happened. So if that does end up happening with chase, then you'll know your ready to love again, but most importantly love him." She completely opened my eyes after that. I think I might've, already fell for him? She's making it seem like I'll fall in love with him, which I doubt will happen because no one wants anyone as ugly and as ADHD as me. And especially my scars. "Let's go get icecream" avani shook me out of my thoughts.