Bad Timing

XVI

"Aw it's so cute you guys have matching nose rings," Todd mocks me while we sit in his room.
"Yeah yeah," I roll my eyes.
"So how long have you two really been dating?" He says.
"Since Christmas break," I admit and fiddle with my nose ring.
"Ahh, that explains a lot of your overnight outings then," he raises an eyebrow at me.
"Todd, any girlfriends?" I say changing the subject.
He looks at the ground and goes red, "no."
I choose not to question his blatant lie, I'm too tired. I'm too tired to think about Ian and how it's the real deal for us now. I'm too tired to think about Ross and how there was part of me that didn't want him to stop kissing me. This same part of me that wanted him to take me back to his house and allow him to come inside of me again.
One year ago from tomorrow is the day Ian told me he loved me.  We were at Mudhouse, it was loud and crowded.  When he dropped me off at my house I could tell he was in some sort of funk and I didn't know why.  I asked him what was wrong and he told me he was upset by how I reacted to him opening up. I asked him what he meant by that. 
"You don't love me," he responds.
"What? Of course I do!" I blurt out, immediately embarrassed afterwards.
"Then why didn't you say that when I told you earlier?"
"You told me you loved me?"
It was all a big miscommunication that we went on to laugh about later.
I haven't told him I loved him yet and neither has he.  I honestly don't know if I love him yet or not.
Am I falling? Sure! But something is keeping me from loving him totally, and I'm afraid of that something being Ross Adler. 
I get a text from Harper.
Hey I don't think I can hang tomorrow I'm super busy with the fam.

Oh ok no worries. I have to go prom dress shopping anyways. Way better if I go alone.

Lol ok! Good luck and send me pics of the ones you like!

The next morning I am off to the mall in search of a dress.  I have been dreaming of this day for ages.  It's one of those corny childhood dreams that stuck with me.
Last year I couldn't go with Ian.  Nobody was even supposed to know we were dating.  We shouldn't have even been dating if we wanted to go to Heaven.
I settle on a purple, velvet, cowl neck gown.
Ian didn't ask me to prom. I sent a picture of myself in the dressing room of this dress and he responded:
i cant wait to be ur date baby🖤
So I take it that means we are going together...I guess?
But I don't think I wanted a big prom-posal. That's not who I am and that's not who Ian and I are as a couple.
Prom is here!
Harper is doing my makeup for the occasion. We decided on bronzer, purple winged eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss.
Todd- shockingly- wanted to do my hair. He insists he is an "artiste" but I just think he finished getting ready too early and got bored.  He settles on a teased pony tail with my side bangs hanging out, framing my face. I'm shocked at how much I like the outcome.
Our parents get a few photos of us before Ian and Todd's date Delilah (strictly platonic he tells me) show up.
Ian won't shut up about how ~fine~ I look and some of his comments make me blush. Thank god he said them quietly so my dad couldn't hear.
We get photos together and polaroids. I'm happy with Ian. Really happy.
Prom is in full force by the time we arrive. 
"So I see you are enjoying your sloppy seconds?" Amber snarls from behind us.
We turn around and she is in a red tight gown. Her hair is curled and down, her lips are painted red.
"Amber, stop.  I'm not going to get into this right now," I say back to her.
She looks at Ian with a heartbroken expression. Sometimes I forget about the root of my hatred for her.  How I really was the bag guy for a while.
"Amber, I've moved on. I know you have too, so let's just put this whole thing to bed," Ian breathes, clearly exasperated with her antics.
"Whatever," she scoffs and walks away.
"Happy prom," I say sarcastically.
"Oh don't let her put a damper on things, Claire. We are here together, we are going to get drunk, and then we are going to check into our very fancy room I have for us, and then we are going to make love all night," he smirks.
"Oh really?" I smirk back and he nibbles on my ear.
Ian is right. It doesn't take long before we are completely hammered and owning the dance floor. I'm serious, the DJ has never seen a better dance to A-ha's Take on Me.
My head rests on his shoulder with my hands resting on the back of his neck while his arms are wrapped around my lower back. We sway softly to the melody of Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time.
After the song ends I decide to quickly go to the bathroom before we leave.
Outside on the balcony as I pass is Ross. He's the only one out there so I decide to go out and see if he's alright.
With his Juul in hand Ross looks like he's had a night.
"Hey," I walk over to him. He doesn't answer me, he doesn't even look at me.
I sit on the arm of the chair next to him. His eyes are all bloodshot- he looks as if he's high.
"Ross," I poke him and he turns to me.
"Oh hey," he goes.
Definitely high.
"Ross, where's Amber?"  I ask.
"No clue, she left me a while ago," he says.
"How are you gonna leave?" I inquire.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Claire. How can you sit there looking like that and expect me to have a normal conversation with you when all I want to do is take you. Right on this balcony," he says bluntly.
Thank God it's dark out because otherwise he would call me out on blushing.
"Ross, you have to find someone to leave with and I'm not leaving you until we find someone," I say and take his hand to help him up.
"Then leave with me," he says.