Bad Timing

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Lilith and my dad left for Turks and Caicos three days ago, Todd has claimed the house for him and Marlena, and I haven't left Ian's bed in three days.
72 whole hours on in his dark grey colored room in his queen sized bed and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon.
Ian pokes his head out from underneath the duvet, "there's a party tonight, all of our friends will be there, we should go."
"Can we talk about this later?" I say and Ian goes back under to continue to pleasure me while I hold on to his hair. I come undone in no-time.
He kisses me firmly and lays down next to me.
"Those people aren't my friends anymore anyways," I scoff.
"It's just Hunter's house, we can leave whenever you want, but I do think we should try and go," he says and gets out of bed.
"Fine. Are we going, you know, together?" I walk into the bathroom and hug him from behind as he brushes his teeth.
"I don't see a problem with that," he says and then spits.
I do.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that," I tell him truthfully.
"Ok, then we don't go together but we are both there. How bout that?" He winks at me and I smile.
"I have to go home, get some clothes," I say walking back into the bedroom.
"I'll come," he follows me.
"Todd's home," I respond.
"So what if that little punk sees us?" He says and puts on his chain.
"We've been getting along a lot better recently I don't want to mess things up," I say and finish getting dressed.
"Ok hurry back," he kisses me and I leave his house.
It starts to snow as I walk to my house. Ian's  jacket is not keeping me nearly as warm as I need to be.
Todd isn't home when I get there so I head straight to my room. There is a clothes basket of clothes that Lilith must've washed before she  went to Turks. There resting on top is that pink sweater.
I pick it up, the smell of the city is completely gone. The smell of Dixon has been washed away. There are small snags on the back from being pushed against the wall and I can see a small part of the blood stain.
I haven't thought about that night much recently. I slide down to the floor with the sweater in hand and Ross crosses my mind. How he helped me that night. How he's the only one that knows. How when we got off the train we went our separate ways. How he wrote the article and just wrote my name at the top. How he's seen me naked but saw me for my beauty rather than a toy to be played with.
After I let myself feel these emotions, I stand back up and look at the rest of the clothes in the basket. Finding a pair of black jeans and plain grey long sleeve I leave my house and start my walk back to Ian's.
Ian and I drive to the party together. He's wearing black jeans and a black and white striped long sleeve. I'm wearing the outfit I picked out earlier with his leather jacket on top.
He goes in before me and I wait five minutes before I go in by myself.
Flashbacks of all of the times I have walked in through this door.
That September night of junior year after I realized I had a crush on Ian, he was in the kitchen making a drink and asked if I wanted one. I thought I was so cool and that I was going to have a real chance with him.
That September night, one year later when I showed up with Ross.
I make my rounds and see people that I used to talk to, but now have no interest in speaking to me.
I take a shot to feel something. My eyes fall on Ross and Amber, they're still together. Ross and I make eye contact from across the room. My heart sinks. I haven't seen this look since that New York night. Our eyes linger on one another's for a little too long and I feel the shot coming back up already.
I break the contact and go to a different room, a room where I don't have to see him or Amber.
I feel a yank on my waist as I pass one of the bedrooms. I fear it's Dixon and scream.
"Shh! It's supposed to be secretive," Ian whisper-yells.
I start to hyperventilate.
"Claire, woah woah woah woah, are you ok?" He asks.
"Yeah," I take a deep breath," I'm fine."
He kisses me softly and I give all of my energy into that kiss.
"Meet back here in 15?" He winks and opens the door.
I fold my arms over my chest as I search for more alcohol.
I'm not paying attention to where I'm going and, "shit!" Some cherry smelling liquid drips down the front of my shirt. I had run into someone.
"Sorry!" They exclaim. I don't recognize them so that's probably why they're sorry.
"It's fine. You're fine," I say and head for the bathroom.
I take my shirt off and start scrubbing in the tiny upstairs bathroom, the red color is not coming out.
And out of all the people to walk in on me while I'm topless- Ross.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, Claire," He says covering his eyes.
"It's fine I can't get this stain out," I say while scrubbing.
"Do you want me to try?" He asks.
"Knock yourself out," I say and take a seat on the side of the bathtub, exasperated.
We stay quiet for awhile, the only sounds are the scrubbing of my shirt and the faint sound of Uproar by Lil Wayne from downstairs.
"It's gone," he says and I stand up.
"Wow, thank you," I and put it back on. I zip up the jacket to cover the water spots.
"How are you?" He asks. I know this is some sort of loaded question.
"I'm ready to leave high school, let's just say that," I say.
"Where'd you apply?"
"Stanford," I say truthfully.  To be honest I don't know what came over me to tell him that. Not even my dad knows that I applied there. Only Todd oddly enough.
"Wow. That's big," he raises his bushy eyebrows at my response.
"I- I don't know about college, I'm definitely taking a gap year but I don't know about it at all," He admits.
It feels good to have a conversation again. Ian and I don't really talk a lot. These past few days it's been just sex.
"That's brave, I'm the type of person who needs the structure of school to keep them afloat," I laugh.
"Nothing wrong with that," he looks at me, his expression is soft but I can tell he's worried.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say already knowing what he was thinking.
"I wasn't going to mention it," he responds.