What if

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The constant termoil I was in over whether the baby was Mike's or Colton's got the better of me. Every so often the thought of termination crossed my mind if it was Mike's but then the vision of the little tiny black and white splotches on the tv screen overpowered the urge to do it. Instead I went back to my doctor and had the test. In the week or so I had been waiting for the answer my mind had already been made up regardless of the answer.

I had to leave him now. It was no longer about protecting Colton, although I knew with all my heart I loved him, the innocent baby growing inside me had only me to protect it. What if he got angry one night and caused me to miscarriage? What if I was holding the tiny little body and he pushed me over? So many different scenarios all lead to the same conclusions... I was now strong enough to leave him for good. I knew he would try find me so I hoped if I spun it and tried to make him think he didn't want this life then he would let me go. I could start at the academy in a years time. There was a crèche at the academy so the baby would go there while I studied. It all sounded so simple. I could leave these last few years behind me and never look back.

My heart broke at the thought of leavng Colton and my parents behind but my growing baby was now priority one.

I sat in Mikes driveway contemplating how I was to do this safely. How was I to make him think he didn't want this when he was so obviously ecstatic about the idea. He hadn't shut up about it since he found out. Telling every Tom, Dick, Harry and their dogs about the fact he was to be a father. Doubt began to bubble deep in my stomach. Suddenly it didn't seem so simple. With a deep breathe and a shaky hand I opened the car door...

Walking into the lounge room I held on to what little strength I had left. Mike had a way of making me weak around him, all will power evaporated and I became his puppet. I couldn't let that happen this time. I had to do this. I just had to make sure I didn't get him angry incase he hurt the baby.

Colton stood in the doorway of the hall leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest, making me feel calmer with his dazzling smile that flashed just as he saw me then disappeared into his game face just as quickly so nobody would notice.

Trey and Mike were in a heated argument with their stash sprawled all over the coffee table as usual. Anger flashed through me like hot water boiling through my veins. I couldn't help but imagine explaining all this to my 4 year old child. The thought repulsed me and gave me a boost of strength.

"because if the cops have caught on it will throw them off and the drop will be safe" Mike stated to his brother cooly.

Trey however was not so calm.

"what if he is another Clayton it was his idea anyway, wasnt it brother" he screamed at his brother pointing at Colton who still stood in the doorway.

I still stood with the door open halfway through the threash hold, not sure if I should go in.

"no matter who's idea it was its a good one and we are going along with it. It's my call and that's final, shut the bloody door babe" Mike ordered me without even looking my way. He still glared solidly at his younger brother letting him know he held all the authority and his word was law.

"yes it is your call that's for sure, but you'll be doing it with out me" trey announced before turning and stomping in my direction.

"you walk out that door you won't just be turning your back on this client but your family too, there will be no coming back from here, you'll be on your own." Mike threatened his brother. I have never seen them fight like this before.

"you had the only girl I have ever loved killed, from that day you were no longer my brother." trey never looked back at Mike he had froze just before the door and now looked straight at me.

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