Not Everything Is As It Seems (Reconnected, finishing in progress)

New Life

As I sit in my robe on the deck chair and stare over the balcony of the place I've called home for the better part of a year, coffee on my hand, I am still haunted by the memories of my past.

The nightmares haven't been as frequent but they are still hardcore enough for me to wake up screaming. Awful images that people wouldn't experience in 5 lifetimes drift in and of my mind day and night. I have changed so many times since being moved from Sydney, way back when, that I wasn't even sure who I was once it was all over.

Since that bastard disappeared without a trace I was whisked away from that garage and moved straight into whiteness protection. Moved to a place that not even my mother knows the location of. My dad probably does. I don't know. I was only half listening as we drove away from that place and he explained it all. How Mikes family had become a target and he was selected to run an undercover operation, his last operation before taking a desk job to be home with us more often. How one of his newest agents, Clay, died in the line of duty and how dad felt the weight of that death, as well as the deaths that followed, on his shoulders. How he wanted to tell me why I had to get away from Mike but also couldn't blow Colton's cover and risk the entire operation being blown wide open, or the lives of everyone involved which... Unfortunately, was mine included. He didn't think in a million years I would get caught up in the tangle but as soon as he realized, Colton was brought further into the operation to also protect me. Colton. My brave Colton. Every time I think of that man my heart falls to my feet, tears form then flow before I even realize I'm crying. I miss you. I find it difficult to breathe knowing you no longer exist on this earth.

I have a new home. A new identity. A new life. I was sent to Brisbane. I couldn't go to Melbourne in the end as he knew about those plans. I was able to apply to the performing arts school here instead and was accepted pending a performance review after 6 months. I decided on choreographing in the end as singing, dancing or acting could draw too much attention if a career took off. I was done with attention. I can be involved in all that I love but stay in the background and out of the limelight this way.

I have all of this because of him. He literally took a bullet for me. My last memory of him was a bunch of strangers hovered over him blocking my view of his beautiful face.

I couldn't say I'm happy. I am content. I am alive. But I am still alone and I am still trapped. I keep to myself at school and work, the local cafe down the road from the school. I just don't have the faith in the human kind to open up to the idea of making friends right now. Maybe in time. I'm trying. I really am. For Rach, for Jaz, for Trey, for Dad and mum.... But especially for Colton. There go those wayward tears again.

No matter the positive attuite I try my hardest to adopt, I still live in a constant state of fear. Who knows where he is or if he'll randomly find me one day. I wouldn't put it passed him.

I sighed heavily. I miss him so damn much. Because of the life he lived before and after my dad took Colton under his wing as he promised his best friend he would, I have no photos of him. Only memories that become more and more distant every day. I always cant help but smile at the reminder I do have of him each and every day. A secret I have kept for quite some time. For the sake of everyone, I had to keep this secret, for now.

A single tear ran down my face as my phone rang startling me.

My phone never rings.

I knew the number calling, it was my dad!

He had given me a burner phone that I was told would only be for major emergencies and I was to carry it with me at all times, no mater what. It would only be used for one of two things... Really good news, or REALLY bad news. I never had my old phone returned to me. I don't even know where it ended up.