strange sweet feelings (A Nigerian Gay Story)

chapter 25: L.A??

Fred's pov

It's been a week since victor visited, he called two nights after to ask how I was doing, he said he'll be sending me plane tickets for his wedding which I got yesterday, I know I will never be able to go see victor move on with another man, it's heart wreaking to even think of it.

Belinda had called me yesterday night, she told me she wanted to come see me few days back but something came up, she sounded really awful on the phone, like something was bothering her, I felt guilty all over me, as my subconscious told me I was at fault, my subconscious kept telling me how I had destroyed Belinda's life.

How awful a person I am, how I destroyed mama's life, Belinda's life, Victor's life and also my life, I was dangerous and unwanted, mama had not even bothered to check up on me, her only child, in as much as I had decided to let go of her, I still loved my mother, and I still feel the pain of her rejection.

I didn't ask to be this way I kept telling myself, but I was not sounding convinced.
I had lost alot of weight, skipping meals, loosing sleep and always thinking, I had already gotten used to the eye bags below my eyes, and most of my clothes were looking like hands me downs on my body.

My secretary had approached me yesterday at the office asking me how I was doing, Biola has been more than an employee to me, she had found out I was gay when I was still dating victor .

That day victor came to the office to visit me, and we found our self making out on my office desk, Biola who rarely knocked when entering my office even though I had warned her severally, bardged inside my office with her personal phone on call, she wanted me to speak to a client she had found and told about our business, she wasn't with her card that day so she decided to give him her personal phone number, when she saw us she stopped and her eyes went wide as she slowly put the phone on her ear telling the client that she'll get back to him

"I'm sorry sir" she said walking out of the office awkwardly

I was panicking, victor was calming me down
" Come on babe, don't worry just have a talk with her later" he said

"Have a talk you say?!, What kind of talk do I want to have with her?! For fuck sake, what would she think of me" I said clearly sounding angry

Victor didn't take it well
" Why do you care what she thinks of you!, You're into Mem and so?, Why the hell are you angry?, Are you ashamed of me!, You should tell me that instead, am I not a person too, don't people talk about me!" He said raising his voice, which I was not okay with, I was ready to hold his mouth

" Vic can you stop raising your voice please?" I said trying not only to calm him down but to stop him from further revealing our relationship

" There's no need fred, I'll leave, so I won't embarrass you further" he said taking his backpack and leaving my office angrily.
I knew calling him back would make things worse so I just let him go. I and victor had a big fight over that.

I later talked to Biola and found out that her twin sister was a lesbian so that was not really surprising to her, she told me she had noticed but was in doubt cause i rarely had female visitors and I had not tried to ask her out or harass her, she thought I was either a gentleman or gay.

She had worked in other offices and most times her bosses made it a point of duty to disturb her to go out with them, or tried sexually harassing her.

We became quite close after that, when I told her I wanted to marry Belinda, she told me it was a bad idea, and it ended up being a very bad idea, the only thing I gained from knowing Belinda is the friendship we have now. But that is about to be ruined because she suddenly has feelings for me. A gay dude.

Belinda decided that she would visit me today and she had called to tell me she was on her way and that she was expecting me to cook her something great, she sounded better but I knew something was still wrong.

"Hey Freddy" she said as she pulled of her shoe in front of the door

"Bella!" I said forcing a smile.

Immediately I said Bella her faced drop, I shouldn't have said that, I'm only worsening things for her, if she was trying to get over me

" I'm sorry I shouldn't have called you that, I know it's not easy and all is not well, I shouldn't be making matters worse" I said hoping it would atleast make her feel better

She walked inside and sat on the couch as I joined her with cups of orange juice

" No wahala jare" she said smiling,

" I hope say no be juice you go give me o, after coming to your house after a long time, you won't give me better fufu with isi ewu to eat" she added sipping the orange juice

I laughed loud this time a sincere one " see this girl o, fufu kor, fufu ni, jellof rice Sha dey for kitchen, go put for us "

"Put for us ke, na me get this house, nna go and put food jare lets chop" she said dragging me up and pushing me to the direction of the kitchen

I walked there sluggishly laughing as she said I was light as paper. I got back with the plate of jellof rice and fried fish, and two spoons

" But seriously Freddy, what's wrong, you don't look good at all, you even lost alot of weight, look at your eyes" she said touching my face looking very worried.

It made me feel more guilty, why did I put he in this kind of situation, I can't return whatever feeling she had for me, and it pained me that I was hurting her so much

" See Belinda, alot of things have been happening with victor, I know you wouldn't care to know now, if it's not okay with you, I'll not talk about it" I said

" Noo, there's no problem jare, talk abeg" she said putting a spoon if rice in her mouth.

I stood up and walked to the room, bringing out Victor's wedding invitation card and the tickets, I walked back to the parlour as I placed it on the table in front of her.

She picked it up, raising a brow at me, as I gestured her to open it up, she looked at the ticket first and said " L.A?, For?" She asked as she opened the invitation card, she read it and I saw it in her eyes, she was shocked and surprisingly sad about what she read, she quickly looked back at me,

My face was filled with emotions I've been holding in, she shifted the table, moved closer to me and hugged me, I didn't cry or anything, neither did she but we just stayed in that position it was really comforting. I knew she was with me I knew she still cared.

Hey lovelies, don't forget to hit the star below. 💓
I would be so glad, If I have that kind of opportunity to leave Nigeria for once😂..I'm not fred tho?

I seriously want to go on a vacation😩