strange sweet feelings (A Nigerian Gay Story)

chapter 16: letting it all out

That morning when I called Belinda on the phone, I was going late for work so she decided that we meet up the next day that is today in a nearby restaurant. I took my bath and dressed casually I had to skip work today cause I needed to sort my personal life inorder to focus on work.

I sat on the outdoor chair waiting for Belinda, it was really windy and dry today, I got there but Belinda was no where in sight.
While waiting I brought out my phone to check my timeline on Facebook, I was scrolling when I saw that victor has changed his relationship status to its complicated, I didn't know what came over me but I felt I needed to talk to him and comfort him at this period he must be devastated.

I dialed his number, it went over to voicemail, I tried it about 3 more times, this time it was going but he wasn't picking.

I felt disappointed maybe he doesn't want to speak to me or even hear my voice, besides I made the mistake of choosing my selfish mother over him, while looking down at the phone with a very downcast looking face, I felt the presence of someone it was Belinda. I stood up and we embraced then I offered her a seat.
She gave me a smile and then put her head down like she was really ashamed, to me she did nothing wrong,

" I'm really sorry" we both said in unison, immediately we started laughing.

Atleast the uncomfortable atmosphere has faded, I signalled her to go on then she continued " I'm really sorry fred, I know what I did was really immature, I shouldn't have just come back from the village without any explanation, and leave that way, I want really thinking..."

I didn't let her finish, interrupting her in the middle of a sentence " no need to explain Belinda, if I were in your case I would have done the same thing, I'm sure the topic of the lack of intimacy in our marriage is not something foreign or new, I'm sure you are thinking I have a problem or something is wrong with me or I'm gay" I smiled a bit

"No fred, I believe you have your reason, I know men that don't have sex with ladies they are not in love with, at first I felt maybe you didn't like me or something like that, but then you were not even showing me any interest like any man that married a woman would no kisses, nothing and even the kiss on our wedding day was really weird I know you noticed it too although other people didn't notice, I thought you were taking your time with me, but it was getting to a year, but then my friend started giving me this negative idea that maybe you were cheating, she even included that you were gay, I tried not to believe..."

I interrupted her again " well she's right I'm gay, I'm not cheating tho I would never cheat even if I was interested in ladies" I expected Belinda to give me a kind of expression I didn't want people to give me when the discover I'm gat but she didn't seem surprised,

I continued " marrying you wasn't my decision and it was my mother's, and it was one of the biggest mistakes I made, not that you're not an amazing person, infact you are amazing and you're a rare kind I'm sure any man that ends up marrying you would be a very lucky person, it was the biggest mistake I made because I hurt a lot of people, you and him" I paused a let out a breathe

Belinda brought her hand forward and held mine " it's okay fred if you don't want to talk about him" she said politely.

" No there is no problem Belinda, I actually hurt you by depriving you what was actually necessary in a humans life, love, care, sex, I definitely know how important sex is in a relationship it makes it stronger in some kinda way, but I made you feel like you weren't good enough all these while and I'm really sorry" I said as she gave me a small smile and she nodded.

" And him, victor, victor really changed my life, I was a very serious minded and boring person, I know that exactly who you know me to be, but whenever victor was around its as if my real self comes out, I tend to let my emotions flow rather than just hiding it in, I told mama about it, and she disowned me and left me hanging, she made me feel like a failure and a disappointment, she stopped calling me and messaged me later that she disowned me, at this point I knew I needed to make a decision, I loved victor but them after mama left I changed towards victor I started acting like everything that was happening was his fault, we were engaged you know, he loved me, he actually noticed that I was behaving differently, he broke it off himself and left, I had no choice but to go back to mama, i would have fought for I and victor but I didn't, I made the mistake of choosing mama over the one true love I have, victor moved on quickly too. I'm so sorry Belinda, i would have told you the truth, but I'm just afraid of what people would think of me" I said with tears forking at the corners of my eyes.

Belinda looked at me, she was already tearing up " omg fred, I'm so sorry for everything, you were also suffering, I can't imagine you being all alone and knowing someone you love is with someone else, I'm so sorry and you shouldn't be bothered about what people would think of you, you love victor and that's what matters, you didn't ask for it, it just happened, you have to choose love always irrespective of what people think or say, even marrying you I had a boyfriend, but my mother persuade me and forced me to marry you because of your wealth at first I refused, but then I felt I might grow to love you, I guess we weren't meant to be together, we should follow the ones we love cause that's where real happiness exists, I'm so sorry fred you went through alot."

she stood up and came around to my side of the table hugging me.

We ended up strolling until we got to the junction where we boarded a bus to our various destination, Belinda promised to always be there and to be the little sister I never had, she's totally worth it, she's the best person anyone could ask for as a friend and a sister. I guess victor doesn't need me, I'll move on, I think I can.

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So Belinda and fred has sorted things out  and victor still not in the picture... Fred is moving on, so let's move on with him...the story is coming to and end, I don't know tho...not sure...
Anyways this chapter is dedicated to  @sammiatadekunle happy birthday dear wishing you all the best💜💜