♡The Stark Family Oneshots♡

Kiss Me (Pepperony)

*sad/emotional/still slightly happy Pepperony fluff that doesn't actually have real endgame spoilers. The only thing mentioned is Tony's escape back to earth, but you already knew that happened from the trailers!*

Also, please note that there is a major trigger warning here, mentions of suicide and self harm.  Yeah, it's pretty damn depressing in the beginning, but I promise it gets better! 😁😁😁

~~~~~

Tony's head fell into his hands, massaging his aching temples as he rode out the aftermath of another panic attack. His heart was drumming loudly in his head, his brain feeling as though it would explode from the massive amount of pain it was going through. His skin was on fire, burning endlessly for what seemed like hours. Breath escaped him in rasped coughs, as he just barely managed to breathe in the heat of the moment. 

Tony stumbled as he sat on the bed, almost tripping over his feet, hardly able to believe that his tense muscles were allowing him to move. His body was still torn to bits, still not fully recovered from severe malnutrition and dehydration. He was frail, weak, and sore.

Despite sitting down, Tony seldom felt the cushion beneath him - all he felt were cold gusts of air and the strangling feeling of floating, the way he always felt when visions of his previous terrors haunted his mind. 

Alone, afraid, and sad, Stark cried. He wept openly, frankly not giving two actual damns about who heard or saw him. He was trapped in his own head, pinned down by the nightmares that continuously abused him every single day. He was defenseless and weak, torn apart by his demons and shaken to the core. 

Sobs escaped him, his shoulders rising and falling unevenly and his lungs heaving, desperately needing the oxygen that wasn't there. Those moments replayed in his head; over, and over, and over, and over, with no relief. He couldn't help but think of what more he could've done, what more he would've done, if given the chance. 

There are no do-overs. There are no second chances. 

There is only pain, and guilt, and sorrow, for what could've been; there is only mourning, and nightmares, and tears and sleepless nights. 

There is no second chance. There is only now. There is only the next day, the next moment and the next year to keep living; keep living with your failures and wishing you could've done something more. 

Stark continued to weep, even after he felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder. The hand moved across his back in soothing motions, attempting to calm the broken man. He recognized this touch . . . it belonged to the only person that he'd ever let in, the only person who'd seen him like this, and the only one who ever would.

Though it was practically impossible to tell over the tears, Tony was certain she was shushing him softly, both her petite limbs now wrapped around his shaking frame. Her voice was low and soft, as if comforting a child after a nightmare.

That's what Tony felt like . . . a child that was merely waiting to escape the hell that was his own mind.

Without realizing it, Tony had leaned into her touch, engrossed in the feeling of her secure arms around him. Scared and scarred, he shrunk within her embrace.

Stark tried not to think about where he'd be if Pepper hadn't survived the snap; life after Thanos was hard enough as it was, but without Pepper . . .