Surviving the Tornado

I'm So Sorry

I sit by the edge of the river. What have I done? I didn't mean to turn down Tanner like that. I just wanted this all to end. All. Of. It. I hear a crack of thunder, and see a ball of light in the sky. Even though it starts raining, I don't care to move. It's peaceful and quiet, and I love the smell of rain. It's nice.

I watch the leaves blow on the trees, and the branches swaying in the wind. Another bolt of lightning. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and boom! 12 miles away. I don't want to go back to the house yet, I want to enjoy the rain.

I hear the ping of the rain everytime it touches the rushing river. I hear another bang of thunder. I would have usually jumped a mile at the sound of that, but I'm not in my right mind this moment.

What was I thinking, turning down Charlie and making him mad? He only used Alex. He doesn't REALLY like her. It was only to upset me. He knew I liked him. But not anymore. Charlie is just a rude boy who likes to toy with girls. He is dead to me now. It feels like the world is dead now.

I hear a rustle in the bushes behind me and I turn around. It's Charlie. He's probably here to give me crap about leaving Tanner. But instead he comes and sits next to me. "I'm sorry I made you choose between us. I shouldn't have done that. I mean I guess I was jealous that you were spending so much time with Tanner, I missed it just being us," he touches my arm with the tips of his fingers and it sends a shock up my arm. I really think that he enjoys the rain, too.

I watch him look up at the sky, and raise his arms up. He soaks in every moment.

I turn and face him. "Really? You seemed like you really meant it weeks ago when you told me to choose. Why do you feel so bad now?" There is some part of me that is really falling for him at this moment. I don't know why.

"I guess I let jealously wave over me without thinking about it," he sits closer to me and our gazes travel to the middle of the river where there are a ton of fish swimming around, gathering to watch something. We both turn around at the same time and our eyes land on each other eyes.

Before I know it, we are standing up together our lips touching. This is my very first real kiss, and it's not bad. I mean of course I am getting poured on, but the the heat from Charlie's mouth calms me. Tanner can't kiss like this, he's never done it this good before, he can't. But then I wonder if I am to Charlie as Tanner's kiss was to me.

I put my hand on his cheek to slow the kiss. It becomes shaky, but then Charlie puts his hand on my cheek and it's steady again. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he wraps his around my waist.

He smells like smoke and pine from the forest. My legs feel like jelly, as I melt into his arms. This is amazing.

And yet so terrible.

Afraid that this could be so wrong, so hurtful, I pull away before someone gets hurt. I stand up, look back at Charlie and run away back to camp.

I can't do this.

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YAY! Another chapter finished! For some strange reason, I write better when it's about sad things. Oh well. I'm glad that so many of you like my book. Let's have a shout out to everyone reading this book! Also if any of you want to know more about me, see Diary of a Marshmallow Queen. You don't have to, but I suggest you do! It's really stupid but really weird too! Maybe even a little funny!