LOVE TO HATE YOU

Trust me...

By the time we got there, the situation was already explosive. I couldn't see them at first, but I could hear them screaming at each other. We parked the car and I immediately saw Ben's hand reach for the door handle,

"Stay in the car, Ben. Please." I couldn't hide the desperation in my voice.

Ben simply nodded, reached over and took my hand, "You know where I am if you need me." He smiled and his smile was so full of warmth and compassion, it helped more than any smile had ever helped me before. Besides JJ and Bruce, no one had ever been there for me like this. I walked towards the commotion, feeling more supported than I'd ever felt before.

My sister ran up to me immediately. "Dad rocked up about an hour ago," she said. "He's begging mom for money. She doesn't have any, so he's screaming at her and the landlord-"

At the mention of his name, the angry landlord walked up to us, fuming. "If you don't get that man off this property in five minutes, I'm calling the cops." I glanced over at his house, which was only a few meters away from the cottage my mom and sister stayed in, and saw his wife and kids peering through the windows, looked frightened. I didn't blame them. My dad was not the kind of guy you wanted coming onto your property at three in the morning. Especially when he was drunk and wanting money.

"I'm so sorry. I promise I'll sort it out."

"You know this has happened three times before!" His face was now red with rage.

"I know. It won't happen again, I swear. I'll get rid of him."

The landlord shook his head and looked down at me with something resembling pity. "I like you and your sister," he said, "and you always pay the rent on time, but I'm sorry. I can't have you living on the property anymore. I have a family. Kids." He looked over at his window. "They don't need to see this."

I nodded at him. I didn't blame him for feeling this way. "I understand. Again, I'm sorry."

Katie looked at me with sheer panic and, and as always, I was overcome with a desperate need to make her feel better. "It's okay," I said. "I'll make a plan. Start packing your things and I'll deal with mom and dad."

We walked towards the cottage, and as I got closer I could see two figures silhouetted against the curtains. They were swinging their arms around wildly, and I heard words pouring out of their mouths that no two people should ever say to each other.

The second I got inside, my dad pounced. "Sera. Sera." He reeked of alcohol. His shirt was creased and stained with coffee, and he was barefoot.

"I've figured it out. I know how to beat the system. It's all in this formula I've worked out. I swear. It's a sure thing. We'll be rich. I swear." His voice quivered, high pitched and desperate.

Do you know how many times I'd heard this story before? He always had a way to beat the system. Some 'get rich quick' scheme always brewing in his head.

"I just need R3, 000," he went on. "That's all. In the morning we'll have a thousand times that. This time it's going to work. Trust me."

'Trust me.' Another line I'd heard over and over again.

"Dad. I don't have R3, 000."

"Don't fucking lie to me Sera." He stuck his finger out and pointed at me. He was shaking, no doubt from the alcohol.

"Sera..." My mother jumped in now. "Just give your father the money. Just give it to him."

I looked at my mother. Her face was tear-stained. Her hair was matted and unbrushed. She was pale, pasty and flabby looking. She looked like she hadn't gone outside, exercised or seen the sun in years-which was true. She was a broken shadow of the woman she once was, the vibrant woman who had gone swimming with me as a child. Who'd played hide and seek with me. There was nothing left of that woman anymore. Every trace of her was gone now, and it was all thanks to my father. He was a cancer.

I looked from my sad mess of a mother to my father. He had a wild look about him tonight-More so than usual. "Dad. I don't have R3, 000." I said it as calmly as possible.

"You're lying again." He was screaming now and waggling his finger just inches from my face. I could smell cigarette smoke and cheap perfume. "What's this then?" he asked as he moved to the kitchen table and started picking up the big heavy textbooks and reading the prices.

"R600. R 750. R 400... I'm guessing you bought these for your sister?" He was waving the big, hardcover biology textbook around now. "So how did you buy her these?"

Without warning, he jumped towards me and pulled my bag off my shoulder. In a moment of pure terror, I managed to push him and he went stumbling backwards like the sorry drunk he was.

And then it happened. Again. The inevitable.

"Don't push your father like that," my mother shouted at me, rushing to his side.

After all these years, my mother was still choosing him over us.

I looked at my parents and suddenly all the anger that I usually felt for them, evaporated. Instead, I calmly watched my mother pandering to my abusive, drunk father and all I felt was pity. They were sick. They needed help. But they were also poisonous and I couldn't keep letting them ruin my life-my sister's either. This had to end-Tonight. I needed to change things once and for all.

"Katie. Go get your things. We're leaving."

My mother looked at me with a strange look. "Sera? You don't mean that."

"Mom. I'm taking Katie with me. Not you. As far as I'm concerned, the landlord can call the cops on both of you. It's time you sorted yourself out." I couldn't believe I'd just said that. But it was time to end this cycle now. Before it was too late.

My sister made a move for her bedroom and then I felt the pain. I wasn't sure what it was at first, but when I heard the loud thud and looked down, I saw the textbook drop to the floor. My face felt hot and wet all of a sudden. I lifted my hand to it, and my fingers came away red.

It all happened so fast after that. Ben was there. He was screaming at my father. I could hear the words, but it was as if I no longer understood English. I had no idea what he was saying. My head was throbbing too hard to make sense of anything. Katie ran towards me and I felt wobbly, so she sat me down.

My dad and Ben were shouting at each other, and my mother moved herself in between them, until my dad pushed her away. She too fell to the floor, hard, and started crying. My father then pushed Ben and, when Ben hit him, he crashed to the floor. The last thing I saw was Ben grabbing a handful of bank notes and throwing them in my father's face and then coming towards me.

Then everything went black...